Roach: The Trial
by sodapop765
Summary: People Under The Stairs. Part 2 of my Roach series. This part deals with Mommy and Daddy's trial. Warning: Rape&Abuse RoachXFool RoachXAlice RoachXHeadbanger AliceXFool FoolXTrysta
1. Recap

Disclaimer: I do not own the People Under the Stairs and never will. This is the second part of my story Roach: Coming Home. Here's a little recap for those of you too lazy to read the first part.

**From the journal of David Mathias 'Roach' Cullen**

_'9-12-1991_

_Dear Journal,_

_I've been free for a month and a half now.(Hooray for me!). I never thought that I'd ever be free, ever feel the sunlight, ever see my family again, or ever even live to the year 1992 but I did and I will. I love my family much more than I ever loved Mommy and Daddy(I never loved them, even though Alice did.) Sure my parents like to get into my business(So does my sister, Belladonna other wise know as Donna the Spy)My brother Morgan can be a jerk to me but I still love him, my weird but interesting sister Dot(Dorothea Louisa Francesca Bianca Lonna Robesca), and my other sister Trysta(Call her Trystal and she can't be held responsible for her actions). They're my siblings and I love them, nothing will ever change that. They love me too(my sister Trysta loved me a bit too much). Trysta was IN LOVE with me. Really. I kissed her and then I told her that I didn't like her back(That wasn't the best idea because now she's in love with Fool). That's right, my ten year old sister is in love with my thirteen year old best friend. You know what else..._

_THEY_

_HAD_

_SEX!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!_

_Me and Alice saw it in the park, we really did. Ever since that day things have been a little weird between us.(Me, Trysta, Alice, and Fool) They don't know that we saw them but that doesn't change the fact that we did. Alice has been asking if we should do that. I'd say yes but I'm just too..._

_AFRAID._

_Yes, I David Mathias 'Roach' Cullen am afraid to lose my virginity to the girl I love more than anything else in the whole wide world.(Even more than video games and nacho's and cookies put together) She doesn't know what she's asking, to her it's just and extension of what we've been doing but for me it's something that I've worked hard to protect.(I've done everything but let the people under the stairs fuck me, it makes me feel like a whore but at least I'm still a virgin for the most part.)Let me rewind here(I love slang) we've been out on two dates and I haven't told her that I love her yet(It's another thing that I'm too afraid to do) but we stripped for each other and we even brought each other to orgasm(I cried because for some reason it made me remember what THEY did to me). I want to have sex with her, I really do but If I cried by just letting her touch me I might completely break down. She knows why I cried though(She's the only person I ever told and Donna read about it.) I don't think that I destroyed too much of her innocence but she still didn't need to know. I feel really selfish that I told her._

_Maybe I am a cockroach._

_Another strange thing is a recurring dream that I keep having where me and Fool do it.(It scares me beyond reason.) In the dream I don't like it but I sort of...do.(I sicken myself sometimes)._

_But that's impossible. _

_Isn't it?_

_I can't possibly have feelings for Fool. He's a boy! But I have been noticing things about him lately even though he only comes around to see Trysta(They're relationship is a secret because my parents wouldn't approve)._

_The way he smiles when something's really funny._

_The way he plays with his hands when he's nervous._

_The way he licks his lips when he eats ice cream.(I can't be around him when he eats ice cream because it gives me ideas. Obvious ideas that don't need saying or writing)_

_The way his skin is lighter under his shirt.(I love it when he wears sleeveless shirts because it gives me a great chance to see where his skin goes from mocha to hazel)_

_The way his lips felt against mine that day when he accidentally kissed me._

_I hate myself for thinking these thoughts about him but I almost don't want to stop. The feelings I have for him aren't as strong as the feelings I have for Alice or even the feelings I have for Headbanger.(More like the feelings I had for Ann Margaret when I was little) They're still feelings though._

_Feelings for another boy._

_I'm beginning to feel like Messenger.(He likes guys but he'll fuck girls too.) Speaking of Messenger(Like I can) I have great news about him. 1-2-3..._

_He's got a family!(She Who Was Tied To Bed's adopted family anyway). Want to know something else good that involves him? He and Headbanger are living together now! And the best thing is..._

_Headbanger had her baby! Really!!! I've seen it! Her, technically. Her names is Miracle. (Miracle Fool Messenger Roach Robeson.) Poor kid, she's gonna have a lot to spell. Headbanger seems to like the name though it is long. My mother almost had a heart attack when she saw the baby(She probably thought that it was mine, she knows that Headbanger and I fool around sometimes)_

_Part of me wishes that she was mine._

_I wonder what Daddy(Eldon to me now) would say if he heard that I was having these thoughts._

_He'd probably whip me with the chain until I couldn't see.(He did it the first time I let it slip that I enjoyed thinking about girls when I was eleven.) My father on the other hand likes that I like girls(He'd probably have a panic attack and and maybe even hurt me if he ever heard about how I'm beginning to have feelings for Fool.)_

_Well, it's going on midnight so I better be getting some sleep if I want to be rested for the trial.(Mommy and Daddy's trial begins in two days and I've been becoming very nervous about having to testify. She Who Was Tied To Bed is my lawyer and she went through what it would be like to be on the bench but I'm still scared.)_

_-The nervous wreck known as David Cullen_

**From the journal of Alice Joyce 'Good Girl' O'Dell:**

_'9/12/1991_

_Dear Diary,_

_I got the idea to write in you from Roach. I got the idea from reading his journal. I call you diary because he says that girls keep diaries and boy's keep journals. He's so smart. That's one of the reasons why I love him. _

_I love him._

_I love so much about him. I love his smile, especially when you can see his tongue stump because it reminds me of how bad a boy he is. _

_I love the way he always hesitates before he kisses me, it makes it all the more sweeter. _

_I love the way he traces the scars on my back and tells me that I'm even more beautiful with them._

_I love the way he seems to know everything about everything, even when he doesn't._

_I love the way he knows exactly where I like to be touched and how fast, even if I don't tell him._

_I love the way he sticks his tongue stump out of the corner of his mouth when he really concentrates hard on something. The same goes for when he bites his lip and plays with his hands._

_I love the way he lets me see him whether he's naked or crying or shoving food into his mouth._

_I love the way the inside of his mouth tastes when our tongues dance._

_I love the way his thing feels when it's pressed up against me._

_I love the way it feels in my hand._

_I love the way it feels in my mouth._

_I love the way the white stuff tastes._

_I love him but I hate the way he cries._

_I hate the way he fears._

_I hate the fact that he won't tell me he loves me._

_But I love the fact that he does._

_Roach is the most amazingly wonderful boy I have ever loved. Fool is a close second. I was in love with Fool for just a little bit, he saved my life after all._

_He kisses better than Roach too. When our tongues dance he leads. Our tongues can actually properly dance!_

_But those are bad thoughts to have._

_I love Roach, Fool already has someone to love. He loves Trysta now because they made love._

_I which that Roach would make love to me. I'm not sure that he could, he cried when I touched him there._

_I wonder what it feels like when it goes inside of me. I can't be having these thoughts because that would make me a very bad girl. I can here Other Mother and Other Father's voice's in my head telling me what a horrible, sinful little girl I am. That makes me want to be the baddest girl I can be. _

_Alice is a good little girl but Allie is so very sinful and bad._

_Alice is the good girl that most people see._

_She likes sitting quietly._

_She likes to be good._

_She doesn't like boys the way Allie likes boys._

_Everybody knows Alice._

_Allie is only known by Roach and Fool._

_Allie likes to touch and be touched._

_Allie likes to kiss._

_Allie likes to mix spit and dance tongues._

_Allie is a very bad girl. _

_Allie is pregnant. Alice is pregnant too. Debbie said so and she must be telling the truth because she's my older sister. Sister's don't ever lie._

_Right?_

_I'm pregnant because I kissed Roach. I don't regret it though, I like kissing him. I hope that my baby is a girl, I'll call her Lucy like from 'I Love Lucy'. _

_That's my favorite show. I like TV but not video games. I don't understand them not one bit. Roach likes them though so I pretend to like them too just like he pretends to like romantic movies and playing with dolls._

_I used to sew dolls to hold the souls of people when they died. I felt like a reaper sometimes as I trapped their souls forever in the house just like I was. I hope that the souls were set free like I was and the people under the stairs were._

_Like we were meant to be._

_The people under the stairs have always scared me. I've seen them only a handful of times when they'd get out of the cellar and through the vents. Once a whole bunch of them got out ad raided the kitchen when I was 10. I even remember the names they called each other._

_Messenger._

_Twig._

_Bites._

_Headbanger._

_Stairmaster._

_Toad._

_This was in the middle of the night and me and Roach, he was David when this happened, went and saw what was happening. They were smelly and filthy and scary but at the same time interesting. They looked almost like children. They looked like half finished dolls except for the one who kept calling himself Messenger. He still had his eyes, ears, and tongue. He wore a filthy red blanket and that was the first time I ever saw a boy's thing even if it was just a brief glimpse. I don't even remember what it looked like or anything after that because then shots were fired. The once called Toad died but the others made off with a lot of food. Me and Roach don't know what happened next because he were made to lie on the lit stove for getting out of bed. It was a good thing that they didn't know that we had seen them or we would have had our eyes cut out for seeing evil. That was the day the cupboards were padlocked for the first time._

_I hope that they pay._

_Real mother and father say that other mother and father are going to pay for what they did to me but I'm not sure. The police never believed any of the people that knew so why would they start now. Maybe because we were all free to tell our story? I want them to pay for what they did, to die for what they did. After all doesn't a person get what they deserve. It's like in that book I read called 'Matilda': when a person is bad that person needs to be punished and they were very bad._

_I'm very bad._

_And I know that I'm going to burn in hell when I die.'_

**From the journal of Poindexter 'Fool' Williams Murphy**

_'September 12th, 1991_

_Dear Journal,_

_I'm not gonna say journal because I'm not gay. Just because I got drunk and a guy popped my cherry doesn't mean I'm gay. Let me start from the beginning. We used to live in the ghetto and we were about to get evicted but then these guys Leroy and Spencer had me help them break into the landlord's house. Worst mistake of my life. These people were really messed up. They had people locked up in their cellar! They never let them or Alice or Roach out. Alice is this girl that's really messed up, Roach even more. They're my friends though, well not so much now. Alice picked Roach over me and Roach...did something horrible. _

_He hurt me._

_He hurt me._

_HE HURT ME._

_We were at this party his sister was throw and we got really drunk. I remember what happened and he probably doesn't. _

_First he touched me._

_Then he wet down on me._

_Then he popped my cherry._

_He was so big and so fast. He made me bleed and cum. He cried when he did it. I cried too. I had to prove that I wasn't gay so I slept with his little sister who says that she's twelve but she seems younger. Her name is Trysta and she's my girlfriend now. I like her but I feel like I'm just using her. I don't go to her house too often because Roach is there. I feel weird and afraid of him. I don't know how I'm going to face him when he have to go to the trial thing. I'm not going to be sent to juvie because the lawyer says that Leroy told me to so I'm not responsible for what I did. I'm glad that I'm not going to juvie, I wanna be a doctor and I can't with a prison record. I'm going to be able to go to medschool now because of the gold coins that Roach gave me from the landlord's house. I guess that I owe him for all he did for me but that doesn't excuse the fact that he hurt me. He took advantage of me. He took me. He took me and I took his little sister. I really am messed up._

_-Poindexter otherwise known as Fool_

**From the journal of Eldon Robeson**

_'9.12.1991_

_Dear Journal,_

_I'm in jail and it's all the bearscout's fault. If he hadn't broken in I'd still be with my wonderful wife and whore of a daughter. I've never been away from Mommy or even home for this long. I'm scared. I miss my guns and the power I held, especially over my prisoners. Now I'm the prisoner and the others hold power over me. They do to me what I did to my sons and daugters. They beat me, cut me, burn me, and make me their toy. This is all Roach's fault now that I think of it. The little animal shit saved the bearscout and made my perfect little girl into a whore. He probably took her. I'm supposed to take her. I almost did but he shot me. Actually this is all my sister Eloise's fault. She had to be a bad girl and be my pet. She got pregnant and was put in the cellar but she gave birth to a child under there and that child had a child. I know more than I let on. If she had been good and stayed in the house than I wouldn't have had to take children when Mommy couldn't have anymore, I could have made some perfect children with her. I'll get out of here though, things always work out for me. I'm a very good boy._

_-Daddy'_


	2. Sleepless Nights and Shocking Days

Disclaimer: see first chapter

_From the journal of David Mathias Cullen otherwise known as 'Roach'_

_'9-13-1991_

_Dear Journal,_

_Some people are good and some people are bad. Mommy and Daddy were both so very bad as were the people under the stairs. I was bad too and most likely still am but Alice is so very good. She did a very bad thing today. _

_She betrayed me but I can't possibly be mad at her. I can be mad at my father but not her. I'm so incredibly mad at my father right now that there are absolutely no words to describe my anger. Not that at I have any words with my tongue being cut out and all. OK, I'm mad at my father but not her._

_I love her. _

_I _

_Fucking_

_Love_

_Her!_

_Is it possible to be mad at someone you love?_

_Well, is it?_

_I'll love her forever and I'll like it for always. _

_As long as I'm living my love she'll be._

_I just hope that one day she can return my love._

_That's not too likely considering what I just saw today. What's he got that I don't got? _

_Besides chest hair, actual muscles, he's really tall, he shaves everyday while I barely ever, he's actually slept with a girl even if she was my mother, his cologne smells better than mine, his hair is redder than mine._

_Well, you get the picture. _

_-The lover boy known as David Mathias Cullen'_

Roach and Alice were sleeping in Roach's bed. Well, Alice was sleeping and Roach was worrying. He was worried about many things including the fact that he was going to have to testify in the trial for Mommy and Daddy and the fact that he was having a reoccurring nightmare in which he and Fool made love. He assumed that it was brought on by stress. He wasn't sleeping and Alice knew this, that was why they were in his bed. She thought that he might get some sleep if they slept platonicly together. Alice fell asleep almost instantly but Roach was still awake. It was the middle of the afternoon so he didn't really see any reason to sleep.

**'So this is my new life, huh? Sure I'm free now but somehow Mommy and Daddy are still controlling me. Why is this?! God, how I wish that they would just fire up old sparky and get the whole fucking thing over with. I don't know hos I'm going to face them or talk about what happened to me to a courtroom full of people. I told the lawyer, why isn't that enough?! There are some things that I can never tell anyone. Horrible, terrible things...Things I can't dwell on! I have to be stronger than this! I have to be strong for her, for my love. I have to be strong for Alice.' **thought Roach as he rubbed Alice's back. Alice moaned and got closer to him. She could hear his heartbeat and feel the ribs of his chest. He could smell the strawberry scent of her hair and the scars of her back. Their legs intertwined almost intimately as Roach got closer to Alice, there wasn't that much room on his bed.

"Mm, Roach..." muttered Alice in her sleep. She was having an intimate dream about the two of them as she often did as of late. Their relationship had taken an intimate turn but they had yet to have sex. They had gotten close but Roach cried and relieved what had happened to him under the stairs.

"(Alice.)" muttered Roach before he kissed her. She smiled but stayed asleep. He didn't see anything wrong with kissing her in her sleep, he figured that they both enjoyed it very much. He settled back against the wall and closed his eyes. He began to try and think happy thoughts and for a bit it worked before his anxiety came back. He held Alice close to him and prayed that he hadn't woken her up.

"You know I don't like that, David Jr." said Amanda from the doorway. She had come to his room to give him clean clothes and she wasn't expecting to see them in the same bed. She knew the intimate course that their relationship had taken and she was conflicted about it. On the one hand it was a good sign but on the other hand it meant that he wasn't her little boy anymore.

"(Sorry.)" said Roach as he climbed out of bed carefully. Amanda tsked and began to fold his laundry for him.

"It's alright honey but please don't do anything while I'm here. I don't want to even think about you two being...intimate." said Amanda. Roach blushed but began to help her in an attempt to be a good boy.

_'We don't do stuff like that, mother.' _wrote Roach. Amanda read it with a bit of difficulty, the lack of sleep had made his handwriting sloppier than usual.

"Something's going on between you two, I know it. I'm happy that you found someone but I'm just saying that you should be discrete and take the necessary...precautions. I'm thirty one honey, that's too young to be a teenager's mother and way too young to be a grandmother." said Amanda as they folded the laundry. Roach blushed but said nothing. As they worked Amanda noticed some of the scars on his face and neck. She felt sad as she realized that they were the eternal reminders of what happened to him. She got an idea that she was going to implement when she was done.

"David Jr., could you come with me for a second?" asked Amanda when they finished. Roach nodded 'yes' enthusiastically. He was always happy to spend time with his mother. She led to him to the bathroom and had him sit down on the side of the bathtub. He assumed that she was going to get him more medicine and was surprised when she came back with her makeup bag.

"Huh?" asked Roach. There were several things that he vowed never to do in his lifetime and wearing makeup was near the top of the list.

"Relax, it's just coverup for your many scars and blemishes." said Amanda as she got the lightest shade that she had. He gave her a look and she sighed.

"It's not really makeup, honey. It will hide your scars though. I know how you don't like people staring at you and I think that this might help." said Amanda as she got to work covering the scar near his hairline that he got from when Daddy broke a vodka bottle on his head when he was eight. Roach wanted to protest some more but he decided to let his mother work. It took Amanda about twenty minutes and she was pleased with her work. The scars were now barely noticeable and his acne was almost nonexistent.

"Wow." said Roach when he looked in the mirror. He was almost normal. He touched the reflexion to see if it was true and not just a trick. Amanda smiled and gave him a hug. He tensed but hugged her back as best as he could.

"I'll show you how to do it yourself later, alright?" said Amanda breaking the hug. She wished that the hug could have gone on forever but she had things to do.

"Yeah." said Roach quietly once again taking in his reflexion. He looked at himself for a few more moments before he went back to his room. Alice was just waking up when he got there.

"Roach? Where were you?" asked Alice rubbing her eyes. She had woken up startled because Roach wasn't right next to her.

"(I was in the bathroom.)" said Roach standing in the light hoping that she would notice. She was too tired to notice though.

"Did you get any sleep?" asked Alice getting out of his bed. Roach shook his head and began to make the bed. She helped and blushed as their hands touched many times. They both had feelings for each other but neither of them had vocalized them. They were both sure that the other person returned those feelings even though they were never stated.

"Did you guys just do it?" asked Roach's ten year old brother Morgan from the doorway. He had come to Roach's room to borrow Roach's deck of cards and had never expected to see Alice there with him.

"No!" they both said at once although it wasn't very clear from Roach. Alice looked down and blushed as she remembered her dream and Roach gave Morgan a look that clearly said 'go away'.

"Sure." said Morgan sarcastically

_'What are you doing in my room?' _ wrote Roach who wanted a bit of privacy with Alice. He wanted to kiss her again and to have her kiss him back.

"I'm not in your room, I'm in the hallway."

_'What do you want?' _

"Do you have a deck of cards?"

"Yeah."

"Can I borrow them?"

_'If I let you borrow them then will you leave me alone?'_

"Sure, anything you want David." said Morgan. Roach looked through his things for a few moments before he found his deck of cards. He felt bad that quite a few of the cards were missing but he wasn't about to tell Morgan that.

"Thanks David. Just for that I won't tell mom that you and Alice are gonna do it." said Morgan leaving. Roach wanted to tell him that he and Alice were going to do no such thing but Morgan left too quickly.

"Roach, why do people keep saying that about us?" asked Alice. She was always confused that people who she hadn't even told about her love for Roach assumed that the two of them had had sex. She was confused also as to why people would do that, it sounded gross and painful to her. Most of her intimate dreams just involved kissing and touching.

"(Because you're a girl and I'm a boy.)" said Roach. It was the best that he could think of. He truthfully didn't understand either.

"Why does that automatically mean that were do things like that?"

"(I don't know.)"

"People are very confusing."

"(They're only confusing to us because we haven't had that much experience with them I'm guessing.)"

"You're probably right, you're usually right." said Alice getting closer to him. Her sister Debbie told her that she had to make the first move sometimes and that was what she intended to do. She snaked her arms around Roach's shoulders and she could hear Mommy and Daddy's voices telling her what a bad girl she was being and how she was going to burn in hell. Roach put his arms around his waist and closed the gap between them. They tried to make the kiss last as long as possible. It was then that Alice noticed that he was wearing cover up.

"Roach?" asked Alice breaking apart from him and wiping her lips.

"Yeah?" asked Roach playing with the curled end of her hair. Her kissed her ears and made a trail of kisses to her mouth.

"Why are you wearing makeup?" asked Alice as Roach kissed her lightly. Roach broke apart from her and blushed.

"(M-my mo-mother put some cov-coverup on over my scars and zits.)" said Roach. He blushed as he said this suddenly feeling very self conscious.

"You lo-look bet-better this wa-way." said Alice quietly. She trailed a scar that was still slightly exposed. Roach took her hand and kissed it. He planted a trail of kisses up her arm until he got to her mouth. Their tongues danced. It was as intimate as they got and Roach liked it that way. Alice on the other hand felt like their was something more that they could do. Eventually their kisses stopped and they basked in the afterglow of what they had just done. They eventually went downstairs and settled themselves in the living room while Dottie played video games blindfolded.

"Whatever you're doing stop." said David Sr. as he came in in nothing but a pair of blue jeans. Alice stared at him as he crossed the living room. Roach didn't notice as he began to deal her some cards for 'Go-Fish'.

"I gotta do this to prove that the alien probe in my brain is giving me, you know, brain powers." said Dot facing the wrong way. David Sr. rolled his eyes and Roach giggled. Alice on the other hand was counting David Sr.'s chest hairs. She didn't love him exactly, not like she loved Roach, but she found him physically attractive. David Sr. put a classic rock album and Roach and Alice began to play cards. Alice was only half in the game as she took glances at David Sr.

"(Got any threes?)" asked Roach. He snapped his fingers to get Alice's attention when she didn't answer him. At first glance it would appear that she was staring off into space but in reality she was watching David Sr.

"Huh?" asked Alice coming back to reality. She couldn't help watching David Sr. and it made her feel like she was betraying Roach. She felt the same way when she was involved with Fool and she half loved half hated it.

"(I asked if you had any threes.)" said Roach a bit annoyed that Alice was zoning out when they were playing a game. Roach considered the time that he spent with Alice to be sacred.

"Oh...uh...go fish." said Alice blushing considerably. David Sr. looked at the two of them and cocked an eyebrow. He had very rarely heard Roach and Alice carry on a conversation.

"(Here's the problem, you have several threes.)" said Roach showing her the cards. She blushed and gave them all to him. They continued playing but Alice still stole glances at David Sr. Roach noticed and his eyes began to bleed green. David Sr. noticed the looks that he was being given by his son and Alice. He had the sneaking suspicion that Alice was enamored with him and he took this as confirmation. He left the room and Alice let out a small sigh.

**'Oh God, I'm jealous of my own father! Alice isn't in love with him, is she? Oh course not! It's like me and the lady next door who likes to sunbathe without her top on. I don't love her, just her boobs. Alice doesn't love my father, just how he looks. What's he got that I don't got? Let's see: chest hair, actual muscles, five o'clock shadow at three thirty, a tan, etc...OK, so he's all grown up and I'm not. He isn't interested in her anyway, he's got mother. If all of this is true than why do I feel so bad? This really sucks. This completely and totally sucks.' **thought Roach as he watched his father leave. Roach and Alice continued playing, Alice more in the zone with the distraction of David Sr. gone. Eventually they stopped playing when Roach began to doze off. Playing 'Go-Fish' with Alice had put him at ease enough to get some sleep. He rested his head on the couch and felt himself drift off to sleep. Alice took a blanket from the couch and draped it over him. She gave him a kiss on the cheek and then went into the kitchen. She wanted to be with David Sr. and she hated it and loved it at the same time.

**'You love Roach! You've always loved Roach! He's been your first love for years, even when you loved Fool at the same time and kissed him. I don't love him, I just like him a whole lot. Yes, that makes more sense. You're such a bad girl right now! Bad girls don't fall in love with bad boys who've had their tongues cut out or even really like their fathers! Shut up! I don't have to listen to this! I'm free! Free to be who I want to be, even if that person is a bad girl. Alice is such a good girl but Alice is a very bad girl and she loves it! So shut up Mommy and Daddy! Shut! Up!' **thought Alice as she went through Roach's cabinets to find something to eat. She was sure that Roach's father would have been in the kitchen. She began to spread peanut butter onto a piece of bread when she heard music coming from Roach's garage. She smiled and began to make a second sandwich. She didn't want to think of it as a gesture of love but rather one of concern. She still took a look around for Amanda and let out a sigh of relief when she saw Amanda in the seldom used dining room waxing the table and floorboards. She took the sandwich out to David Sr. humming a happy tune. She knocked several times on the door before David Sr. opened it. He was surprised to see her there. To Alice's disappointment he was ow wearing an old, baggy, T-shirt.

"Hey." said David Sr. leaning on the door frame

"H-Hi." said Alice meekly looking down at her plastic gel sandals. Suddenly they were the most interesting things in the universe.

"That sandwich for me?" asked David Sr. noticing the slightly over jellied sandwich. Alice nodded and handed it to him. They stood in an awkward silence.

"So, what's up?" said David Sr. still leaning on the door frame. He was pretty sure that she was infatuated with him and he didn't want it to progress. He didn't want to go to jail.

"The sk-sky." said Alice twisting a bit of her hair between her fingers. It was one of her many nervous ticks.

"Well...tell Amanda thanks for the sandwich. Good bye now." said David Sr. turning to leave

"I-I ma-made it." said Alice quietly before she could censor herself. She didn't know why she said it but she thought that it must have had something to do with the fact that he mentioned Amanda.

"What?" said David Sr. stopping in his tracks. He decided that there must have been a reasonable explanation for this that didn't have to do with her having a crush on him.

"I ma-made that s-s-sandwich f-for yo-you." said Alice her stutter getting more pronounced with each word.

"David Jr. didn't want it, huh?" said David Sr. trying more to make himself believe it than to state a fact. He swore that he was going to have a heart attack when Alice nodded 'no'.

"No-no, he's asleep." said Alice pulling at her light pink jumper dress. David Sr. visibly gulped.

"Then why did you make it for me?" said David Sr. getting down to her level to look her right in the eye. Alice took this as him returning her feelings.

"Because I...I...I..." started Alice. She just couldn't get the words out no matter how hard she tried.

"Come on in, we've got some stuff to talk about." said David Sr. leading her into the garage. She smiled as she thought of all the things that she and him could do. They also scared her but she was done playing the good girl for the most part. She sat down on a chair right next to him and he began to crumple and uncrumple a piece of paper. He knew that she was going to cry when he shot any romantic dreams that she might have had involving him and her but it needed to be done. He didn't need to be accused of anything.

"Alice, listen I-" started David Sr. he was cut off as her lips pressed themselves against his. For a brief second he kissed her back but then he realized who and how old she was.

"Jesus Christ! What they fucking hell was that?!" said David Sr. wiping his mouth off. Alice didn't know why she did it but she also didn't think that she had done anything wrong. She knew that he wasn't all the way happy with Amanda and she had taken his kindness as interest in her.

"I-I'm sorry." said Alice crying a little from rejection and fear. He saw her crying and he calmed down.

"I'm not angry, just surprised. Surprised and confused. What the hell was that about?"

"I-I th-thought that yo-you liked me." said Alice still crying. David Sr. rubbed her back a bit to calm her down but she tensed under his touch.

"I-I like you, but not in that way." said David Sr. putting his internal censor on overdrive. He had to play this cool, like walking on thin ice.

"I'm sorry." said Alice quietly feeling like a complete fool. There was also an accusatory edge to her voice that made him feel uneasy. She was still crying softly and this made the situation all the more awkward.

"It's alright, really. Just don't do it again." said David Sr. defensively. Alice wiped her tears when she saw that he wasn't going to be mad at and possibly hurt her.

"I-I won't."

"Good. Besides, I'm pretty sure that David Jr. likes you. Is that what this is? Are you just going to me because you can't have David Jr.?" Alice didn't know how to answer that question so she just remained silent.

"Listen, just stick to boys your own age from now on, alright?"

"OK."

"Oh, and don't mention this to anyone."

"Why?"

"Because I could get in a lot of trouble, that's why."

"But I kissed you, you barely even kissed back." said Alice almost inaudibly.

"Doesn't matter kid, that's the law."

"Why?"

"To protect kids."

"B-But I-"

"Don't ask me all these ethical questions that I can't answer."

"I'm sorry, I won't ask you anymore questions."

"OK, now go back to David Jr. and pretend like this never happened."

"OK, bye."

"Bye." and with that Alice left. David Sr. then took the time to evaluate what just happened. He was a bit flattered that Alice had taken an interest in him even if it was unwanted but he also found it disturbing that Alice would make a move on him. He was thirty two for goodness sakes!One person however was not flattered. Roach was not flattered, he was angry. Not at Alice, never at Alice. He was angry at his father because Alice kissed him. He knew that it would have been more logical to be angry with Alice but he just couldn't be too angry with her. When they kissed it felt like a dagger through Roach's heart but when Alice came back to the house he pretended to be none the wiser. He was used to playing the good boy. Alice could tell that there was something off about Roach but she didn't state it. Eventually she went home and Roach was glad to be rid of her for the first time ever. Roach had even more trouble sleeping that night.

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"_Alice? Alice?!" said Roach as he ran through a long stretch of hallway. He felt like he was running forever until he got to a wedding alter. Everyone he ever came into contact with was sitting in purple polka dotted lawn chairs and was wearing a Mickey Mouse hat and rainbow suspenders. At the wedding alter was a very pregnant Alice with an unknown man. Roach ran up to the alter and began to shake Alice._

"_Alice? Alice listen to me; this is a mistake!" screamed Roach as he felt his heart break into a million pieces._

"_Why is it a mistake?" asked Alice with an unusual calm to her voice. She sounded like a robot with a hangover. _

"_Because I love you! I've always loved you!"_

"_Well I don't love you. I've never loved you, I went into the arms of Fool and then your own father!"_

"_Alice, you don't know what you're saying."_

"_I know exactly what I'm saying, Cockroach!"_

"_Please-"_

"_No! Now leave me be."_

"_I-I love you."_

"_Go fuck yourself." and with that Alice kissed her faceless husband. Roach tried to pull them apart but he just went through them like a ghost. He looked around and saw that they were in the cellar and that he was now in his rags. He put his finger in his mouth and felt that his tongue was completely missing. He screamed._

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Roach woke up in a cold sweat. His breathing was coming out deep and ragged. He went into the bathroom to splash warm water on his face.

**'Well, that was very unpleasant to say the least. I am never going back to sleep again. Why do I keep having these dreams? Why?! Dear God why?! As God as my witness I David Mathias Cullen the fourth am never going to sleep again. Yep. So, what do I do now? My whole family is sleeping, it's one in the morning. I'm not going to write in my journal again because Donna won't stop reading it. The bitch. I know that that's harsh but she has no right to read my private thoughts. I want my mother. Maybe I could crawl into bed with my parents and watch them sleep? Wait, he's there. My father. I'm so angry at him I could just-just-something unpleasant for both of us. I know what I'll do! I'll go put that ten thousand piece 'Star Trek' puzzle together.' **thought Roach as he rested his head against the cool tile. He went downstairs and began to do the puzzle on the kitchen table. He tried for about an hour before he got sick of it. He then thought of what to do and he decided to write a letter telling Eldon Robeson exactly what he thought of him and the current situation. He wrote all night at that table and that was how his mother found him.

"David, what are you doing? You look terrible." said Amanda who had gotten up early to make her family breakfast. Roach smiled and pointed to the letter he was writing that had grown to be several pages long.

"Have you been up all night, son?" asked David Sr. coming into the kitchen. Roach gave him a frosty glare and left the room. He was so angry with his father that he forgot to be a very good boy.

"What was that all about?" asked Amanda watching her son leave the room obviously angry

"I really have no idea."

"That's not like him. He's usually so calm and collected. To us anyway."

"It's probably just sleep deprivation. He hasn't slept well in a while."

"David, he was up all night."

"What?!"

"Yeah, it might have something to do with his nightmares."

"Probably something to do with that damn trial. Why the hell does he have to testify anyway?"

"Because they think that the case will be won if there's a human element instead of just testimony."

"Why would they just use him like that? Why?!"

"Amanda, calm down or you'll wake the kids."

"I just can't stand thinking about them. They took him and killed what was left of our son."

"Honey, calm down. Today is another day. Another day that we can be grateful to have him back."

"You're right."

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**From a letter to Eldon Robeson from David Mathias Cullen the fourth otherwise known as 'Roach'.**

_'Dear Eldon,_

_You are not nor have you ever been my father. What can I say to you? In person nothing because you so graciously cut my tongue out to make me 'good' but I am still such a bad boy. What can be said to you on paper? Many rather unpleasant things. You took me away from my real parents and raised me as your own. You took what I had and killed it like you tried to kill me. You locked me away for ten years. You took my freedom, my hope, my childhood, my happiness, my ability to speak but you didn't take my life or my hope. That hope payed off. Look how that tables have turned and now you are the one. Locked away from the world with dangerous and deranged people who would love to pin you down and use you for a pin cushion. They probably already have. Whatever you get now is what you've brought upon yourself. What you have sewn so shall you reap. They've never used me for that in case you're wondering. The object of your lust otherwise known as Alice still remains as untouched as the turn signal on my sister's car. I'm considering taking her virginity. Under normal circumstances I would be afraid of you're reaction to that statement. You see the thing is that I'm not the least bit afraid of you anymore, I laugh at you! You're nothing but my greatest amusement. Like a favorite cassette I watch over and over again. Doesn't that just make you furious? Doesn't that give you one of your headaches? Well, doesn't it you baby snatcher?! Mother fucking sister fucker?! Aren't you ashamed to lose, to be bested. You were bested by a thirteen year old, a fifteen year old, and a little girl! By people who were little more than children!Face it Eldon you lost! We played our game of cat and mouse and you lost! You fell! Oh how the mighty have fallen hard onto their leather clad asses. You fell and you will continue to fall so quick, so hard, so lost, and oh so defeated. _

_And I will be the one to have pushed you.'_

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Well there you have it folks, chapter 2! Will Alice and Roach's relationship ever be repaired? Will Roach ever let go of his anger with his father? Will I ever stop asking questions? The world may never known.


	3. Drastic Actions have Bad Consequeces

Disclaimer: see chapter 1

**From the Journal of Alice Janet O'Dell:**

_'9-14-1991_

_I did a bad thing. I was a bad girl. I am a bad girl because I did a bad thing. The bad thing I did was that I kissed Roach's father. That was bad of me. I don't even know why I did that. I should just focus o being a good girl and not bad like I am sometimes._

_But it feels so good to be bad._

_I am such a bad little girl._

_I LOVE it!_

_Roach says that I act like a stairperson when I say things like that. I don't say things like that to him because I don't want him to think of me as a stairperson. I hope that Roach doesn't find out about what I did. _

_Then he'd hate me. That would be bad._

_Well, maybe not hate me but I want to always be his best friend. Maybe even something more one day, like his wife. Sometimes I have fantasies where we're husband and wife living in Las Vegas or New York or some other place I saw on the world channel. We always have two children, a girl and a boy and we always live in a small house with lots and lots of flowers._

_He can never, ever know about what I did with his father just like he can never know about how I was in love with Fool for that short amount of time.. I feel so dirty and bad, being in love with two boys at once and all. I don't like to feel dirty and bad, that's how other mother and father want me to feel. They'd usually scrub me with a pointy brush and hot water to make be clean but it doesn't ever work. I'm bad to the bone like that song._

_Well, I have to go now so goodbye._

_-Alice Janet O'Dell'_

**From the notes of Stairperson Scribe**

_'Date Unknown._

_I am the thirty something-eith Scribe. We lost count because Scribes don't live too long. Here is our society from top to bottom._

_Leader: Our Leader is the one who fought the others for the title. He always gets the best food and pretty the best of everything. He wears bone and real jewelry, has a pot on his head at all times, and ca have up to four slaves at his disposal. We're all kind of his slaves though. The function of the leader is to keep our society going and to make it peaceful. Our current leader, Boss, fails in every one of those obligations._

_Tops: The Tops are the aristocracy. They are sons of the blood, Mommy and Daddy's children, and are quite clever and strong. They are the best and they have certain privileges. They get human flesh and can have up to two slaves. He look to them for guidance almost as much as we look to our leader. They also meet in a sort of gathering to determine new laws that aren't arbitrary or petty such as the 'Child of the Damned' Law which states that any children of the damned, born under the stairs to one or two stairpeople, can not be killed._

_Scribes: My caste. There is usually just one Scribe, sometimes two. We are usually castrated, I am, and we can read and write. The current thing between the walls usually gives us paper in exchange for something, usually sex, but Cockroach just wants the girl he was to with's protection. We are the record keepers for the people under the stairs and we also preserve the natural order which is just the caste system. We are necessary to keep humanity in this hell hole._

_Wives: The Wives are the women that were to be with the Tops. They are mostly their for pleasure. Nothing more can be said about them except that they usually die in childbirth or from miscarriage._

_Singer: A title made specifically for my wife who is coincidentally called Singer. She sings our hymns and songs for our entertainment. I only did this for her because I feel guilty about not being able to pleasure her. Nothing more can be said about her._

_Guards: They guard the wooden bars that keep us in and alert us to the presence of Mommy or Daddy. They are violent and dangerous and not to be bothered. The most ruthless of our guards is Stairmaster who is so feared he could be Tops. We all fear him. To my successor who will probably be the only one reading this: Do not cross Stairmaster._

_Whores: They are the best of the best at giving pleasure. They work on you and they work for you. They are mostly for the slaves who can't take wives or husbands. They are not to be not to be confused with harem boys and girls because it will offend them. Daddy has been known to receive pleasure from them as well. It brings him down to our level._

_General Slaves: These are slaves that have no specific purpose. They can be harem boys or body guards but are usually used in place of Whores or Tricks. They can and have been known to rise to the rank of leader or even become Tops after their master dies and they are not left to anyone. Boss is a good example of this type of person._

_Harem Boys and Girls: They are the leader's personal harem and no one else is allowed to use them. We do sometimes because our current leader and the one before him relied on others to do his bidding. Messenger is a combination of whore, trick, and harem boy. He is very good I am told but being castrated I wouldn't know. I think that Cockroach would be a good harem boy._

_Tricks: Outsider slaves who's masters have died. They may or may not have been left to somebody but nobody really wants them because they remind us of what we could never have. They usually die trying escape or are taken by Daddy anyway. Rateye's is a rare one who really wants to be one of us. They are like whores only much worse at what they do._

_Assorted others in no particular order:_

_The Thing Between the Walls: He or much more rarely she is someone who lives between the walls of the upper house. They bring us supplies and we repay the favor. We know how to get into the walls be we are just too scared of death to do so. The current thing between the walls is named Cockroach but the little half mute half virgin shortens it to Roach. Only the leader may name himself. He really has no place in our caste system because he is a thing all his own._

_Good Boys and Good Girls: While we are the bad children they are good and pure. They have not had anything cut out and can still have a chance at having a real life. Well, as much a life as can be had in this hell hole. Alice is the only good person boy or girl left and Cockroach seems hell bent on keeping her that way. If you want to get technical they rank above us since they are the day walkers and we are confined to this intimate darkness._

_The Savior: The savior is the person who was said by Oracle to save and deliver us from this terrible place. He will be given the utmost respect from us if he ever comes. I have my doubts about his coming because Oracle was insane when he said this._

_Oracles: We occasionally have prophets or people so insane they think that they're prophets called Oracles or the old term, Seers. They exist outside of our caste system but are treated with respect and dignity because of their so called abilities. I however don't believe in such things but then again I still have most of my humanity._

_She Who Was Chained to Bed: She escaped and left her newborn child of the damned here. She never sent back help and never took our forebrothers out of this place. For that she can never be forgiven._

_To my successor who will probably be the only one reading this I leave you this message: Preserve our records and our society because without them we are little more than animals._

_To any outsider who shall come to find this I leave you this: Who is the human and who is the animal?_

_-Scribe formerly known as Thomas'_

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Roach was depressed all day, and it was only noon. He was so sad that he could barely drag himself out of ed to greet the day and eat his breakfast. His entire family was concerned, even Morgan. Amanda was the only one who decided to take matters into her own hands.

"David, you're coming with me to run some errands, no discussion. Now go put something nice on." said Amanda to Roach who was sitting on the couch watching Dot attempt to play video games on a system that was older than he was. Roach nodded 'yes' semi grateful to be leaving his sister to her PONG game with herself. He wet to his room and dressed like a good boy, the way he had been dressing his entire life. He wore short sleeved shirt not caring if people would stare. Tieing his bowite took a bit of time because he almost forgot how to do it. In the end he looked like he was dressed by a blind Sunday school teacher. Amanda smiled when she saw him. She was happy that he was finally dressing to the weather. They got into the car and Roach sighed sadly. He didn't even know what he was so sad about anymore, just that he was sad.

_'Where are we going?' _ asked Roach when they were on the road. Amanda smiled, she took this as a sign that he was getting better. Roach was just asking to have some human interaction though.

"We have to get some groceries, pick up the dry cleaning, return some books to the library, get your father's watch fixed, return this tape to the store and hope that we don't have ay late fees, get some prescriptions filled, and meet with your lawyer. As you can see we're going to be together for a long time." said Amanda. Roach crossed his arms and looked out the window when he heard the word 'lawyer'. His lawyer was someone who the people under the stairs hated, 'She Who Was Chained to Bed' otherwise known as Eloise. He went through the errands in a daze. He smiled when he had to and was all around pleasant to be around. He was filled with a sense of dread as they got closer and closer to Eloise's house. It was a semi big house with a yard full of children's outdoor toys that Roach knew belonged to Messenger. Roach was still in touch with both Messenger and Headbanger and had even seen their baby. Amanda rang the bell a few times before the crying of a newborn baby could be heard.

"Oh great! Now look what you done!" said a female voice through the door. The curtain in front of the door window was pulled away to reveal a stressed out Headbanger. She wasn't as pale and she had even gained some weight. Her hair was poking out of the rag that she wrapped around it and there was all kinds of filth on the dress that looked like it hadn't been changed in days.

"(Headbanger! How are you?)" said Roach happily through the door coming out of his depression. This startled Amanda but she decided to let him be because he looked truly happy. She was a bit wearing about them being together because she knew about their physical relationship.

"Well, as you can so plainly see Roachy boy I'm just peachy keen." said Headbanger sarcastically as more crying could be heard. The crying stopped and Headbanger sighed happily. She loved her baby but it spent most of it's time crying and sleeping. She had the feeling that she wasn't cut out for motherhood.

"Don't make no noise nobody." said Messenger from the other room. Headbanger unlocked the door just as Eloise came in with a baby bottle in hand. She was surprised when she saw them and gave Headbanger the bottle.

"Oh, I forgot you were coming." said Eloise straightening her clothes and fixing her hair in an attempt to look proper.

"Well, here we are." said Amanda smiling just to be pleasant.

"It's good that you're both here so lets get down to business." said Eloise motioning for them to follow. They followed her up the stairs and to a room towards the back of the house. Roach felt anxiety, he didn't like how this house resembled Mommy and Daddy's house. They went to Eloise's office and they were briefed on everything. The dos and don'ts and all the questions that he would be asked. When that was done they went into discussion of things like sentencing and how he had to be evaluated again. After awhile Roach was bored but he sat still like a good boy. Eventually he was dismissed and Amanda Eloise continued to talk. Roach walked down the hallway until he came to a door with crayon all over it. He pushed open the door.

**'This has got to be Messenger's room. Headbanger probably lives here too by the looks of it. I wonder where the baby sleeps, there's no crib. They probably wouldn't like cribs, they look like giant baby cages.' **thought Roach as he entered the room which would have been better suited to a small child, not a twenty five year old man and his nineteen year old baby mama. His question was answered when he saw a bassinet by the bed. There was no baby in the bassinet though. Roach looked around at the drawings on the walls and the toys and clothes all over the floor. It looked a bit like his room when he stopped being a good, neat boy for his mother.

"What are you doing here, Roachy Boy?" asked Headbanger leaning against the door frame. Roach suddenly felt very nervous and shrugged his shoulders. Headbanger smiled and began to unbutton her dress.

"(Wh-what are-are y-you do-doing?)" asked Roach as she threw off her dress to reveal her scarred body. She tightened the wrap she had around her chest and put another dress on. Roach watched her with fascination. She was a patchwork of scars, faded bruises, and tattoos.

"What's it look like?" asked Headbanger getting very close to him. She didn't have any real feelings for him that went beyond friendship but she did this because that was how she learned to act around boys. Roach gulped and took a step back to preserve his personal space. She backed him into the bed.

"You looked sad when you came in. why is that?" said Headbanger resting her head on his chest.

"(It's a long story.)"

"I don't have anything better to do now that my baby is sleeping."

"(It's personal.)"

"Personal stories are the best kind."

"(Fine!)" said Roach throwing his hands up in defeat. Headbanger smiled and giggled a bit at this. Roach told her everything from start to finish. He was in tears by the end of it. He put his head on her lap and he stroked his head affectionately.

"Why are you crying like this, Cockroach? You could have any woman you wanted." said Headbanger laying down next to him. He wiped the tears from his eyes and looked at her.

"(Like who?)" asked Roach who couldn't picture himself with a woman who wasn't Alice. Headbanger smiled showing both her new false teeth and her yellow original teeth.

"Like me." said Headbanger. She gave him a ;light kiss and then he plunged her tongue into his mouth. They began to make out on her bed. He began to unbutton her dress and she began to straddle him. She wanted to be dominant one like she was when she was with Messenger. She unzipped his pants he stopped kissing her back. She recognized the fear in his eyes.

"I wouldn't do anything to hurt you, Cockroach. I know that you want this, I can feel it." said Headbanger. Roach looked her I the eyes and nodded 'yes'. He wanted it and he was going to let her do what she wanted with him.

"A-Alright, Cockroach. Brace yourself." said Headbanger. Headbanger was startled by the pure admiration and trust in his eyes but she continued. Their kisses grew more and more furious and hands began to roam. They eventually undressed and Headbanger took charge.

"Oh God! I've wanted this for so long!" said Headbanger. She had fantasized about that since the first time they fooled around. She eased him into her and he wanted to be the one on top. He didn't tell her that though because he didn't want to run the risk of it not happening. She bounced up and down on top of him and he always met her at the top. It was the greatest moment of his life. Sweaty bodies rolled on the double bed in ecstasy are two people became one. Flesh was touched, tasted, and seen. It was pure intimacy.

"(Oh God! Oh yes! Ride me Headbanger! Ride me!)" said Roach semi loudly as not to be heard. The only reason why they weren't heard was because Amanda had put her fears about Roach and Headbanger's intimate relationship aside and let him catch up with his friends and decided to let Roach stay for a little bit while she went home to prepare the family's meal. Eloise didn't hear them because the baby was crying and the TV and radio were blaring in an attempt to drown out the baby's cries.

"Oh my God! I'm gonna-I'm gonna-I'm gonna cum! Cum inside of me, Cockroach! Throw me down and make a Cockroach Jr.!" said Headbanger even though she was faking it. She knew not to expect much because it was his first time and she was right. It was sloppy at best.

"(Headbanger! I-I'm gonna-gonna cum!)" said Roach semi loudly. Roach came first and that put Headbanger over the edge. They were much quieter then Headbanger and Messenger usually were and that was a good thing because the noise level had gone down considerably. They cuddled when they finished.

"(That was the most amazing moment of my life.)" said Roach when he finally pulled out of Headbanger with a loud 'plop'. Headbanger looked at him wondering if he truly meant that or if he was just trying to flatter her. Roach was very sincere. He had always imagined what his first time would be like and now he knew.

"Really?" asked Headbanger who just saw it as scratching an itch. She had never met anyone who had that reaction to the person that they had their first time with but then again most of the people she met hadn't had very good first times. Her first time had been with Daddy when she was eight for God's sake!

"Yeah." said Roach kissing her again. They cuddled for a few minutes before the door opened. Roach knew that he was caught and he dove under the covers.

"Don't mind Messenger, cloth diaper just getting." said Messenger as he got a cloth diaper and a clothes pin and then left without paying them and mind. It didn't bother him that Roach had done it with Headbanger, he wasn't even attracted to her.

"What are you doing under there? I really don't think that I'll be able to do it again for some time." asked Headbanger pulling the covers away from Roach.

"(Won't Messenger be mad?)"

"About us doing it in his bed? Probably not, but then again this is the first bed he's ever had."

"(No, about us doing it.)"

"Why would he be mad? He doesn't really like girls all that much, remember? He only sleeps with me because he knows I want him and he doesn't really have anybody to fuck him. He still lets me be on top though."

"(Why do you want him then if he doesn't like girls?)"

"Because he's really, really good. You should try him, he won't hurt you."

"(That's disgusting.)"

"Cockroach, when you've been in the cellar as long as I have nothing is disgusting anymore." said Headbanger getting out of the bed and collecting her clothes.

"(Wh-Where are-are y-you going?)" said Roach who was almost sad about her going. He wanted to cuddle with her some more. He was hurt that she wouldn't want to stay with him after what they had just done.

"To shower, I smell like sex and so do you." said Headbanger matter-of-factly. To her it was just like doing it for money, no emotion what so ever. She had no idea how Roach felt about that whole thing and she didn't honestly care. She went into the adjacent bathroom humming a happy tune to herself. Roach collected his clothes and followed her and she let him get in the shower first. Roach stood under the hot water for a minute to take in what had just happened.

**'What the fucking hell was that?! I lost it. I lost my virginity. I LOST MY VIR-GIN-I-TY! I lost it to Headbanger. I banged Headbanger. Well, since she was on top she banged me. I always picture myself losing it to Alice but she doesn't feel that way about me. Oh well, I have a girl now who I know loves me. Why would let me be that intimate with me if she didn't love me? Sure she does anyone but I didn't force of pay her so she must love me. Yes, she loves me. I don't love her as much as Alice but Alice...she has someone else now. I'm just going to have to stop obsessing about Alice. This is me not obsessing about Alice.' **thought Roach as he rinsed the sweat and other bodily fluids off of his body. He didn't expect to be joined by Headbanger.

"Hey Roachy Boy, how about round two?" asked Headbanger dropping down to her knees giving him a very skilled fellatio. What happened next was a repeat of their previous experience. There was even a three-peat before Roach had to go home. He smiled dumbly when he got home and Amanda took it as a good sign. When he slept that night he didn't think of the trial or Mommy or Daddy or anything like that. He thought of Headbanger and the way her skin felt against his.

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Everyone knew that something was up with Roach but they didn't want to jinx it. It was rare that he was that happy and they wanted to know why. They speculated that it may have had something to do with his relationship with Alice. David Sr. hoped that that was what was up with him because they were at a loss if that wasn't true. Roach smiled as he entered the kitchen and sat at his usual place. There was an unusual amount of silence at the table but Roach paid it no mind. It was like he was a prisoner of his own happiness. He didn't feel dirty like when Alice touched him and he didn't remember what the people under the stairs did to him. He was starting to put it behind him and move forward with his life. He was a born outsider so that made him better than them no matter what they did. He began to leave his identity as a slave behind because he was sure that he was never going to see the ones that tormented him again.

"Why are so so smiley?" asked Dot who couldn't take it anymore. She knew that something was up with him and she had to find out what it was. Roach blushed and looked down at his breakfast. He wasn't about to go telling his six year old sister about how he lost his virginity. Amanda took this as confirmation of what she feared, something happening between Roach and Headbanger. She didn't draw too much attention to this though but she knew that she was going to have to talk to him about it later. The meal was finished and the kids went to watch Sunday morning cartoons. Trysta for some reason walled herself up in the bathroom.

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Fool was on his way to Roach's house. He didn't really want to go because of what happened between him and Roach at Donna's party but Trysta said that it was very important. Fool didn't want to admit it but he had definite feelings for Trysta. He had a suspicion that she was younger than she claimed to be but he put that at the corner of his mind. He passed Alice's house and gave it a long look. He and Alice had something but the something that they had was long gone because she had chosen Roach over him. It didn't matter to him anymore, he had a girlfriend now. Fool stood in front of the door for a while before he gave it a small knock. A few moments later Morgan in his pajamas appeared in front of it.

"Yeah Fool? You're here to see David, right?" said Morgan unhappy about being ripped away from his cartoons.

"Actually I'm here to see...uh....T-Trysta." said Fool digging his heal into the concrete steps. Morgan gave him a look before he let him in. Fool entered the house and looked around for Roach. Roach's loud off-pitch laugh alerted Fool to his presence. Fool went into the living room to see if Trysta was there but she wasn't. He left quickly before Roach noticed him. He went up the stairs to see if Trysta was in her room but some worried muttering from the bathroom told Fool that that was where Trysta was. He knocked on that door.

"Go away! I'm in here!" said Trysta

"It's me, Fool." said Fool a little worried about Trysta

"Get in here." said Trysta coldly. She didn't mean to be so cool to him but this was a desperate time to desperate measures were called for.

"What is it?" asked Fool. Trysta wordlessly handed him a pink stick. Fool's world came crashing down.

"What the fucking hell?!" yelled Fool so loudly the entire house could hear him. Everyone went upstairs to see what all the ruckus was about.

"What the hell do you think?! You really are a fool, Fool!" said Trysta throwing the stick against a wall. She wasn't sure if pink was good or bad because she didn't have the directions for that pregnancy test that she had found at the back of the medicine cabinet. It was several years old so Trysta figured that her mother wouldn't notice that it was missing.

"How could you let this happen?!" said Fool loudly. Everyone on the outside of the bathroom exchanged looks but continued to listen. Amanda and David Sr. were both worried but they hopes that listening to them would get rid of their fears. They hoped that it was just one big sitcom-like understanding.

"How could _**I**_ let this happen?!"

"Yeah! You!"

"What did I do, jump on myself and get pregnant?!" said Trysta. Amanda fainted when Trysta said those words and Morgan, Dot, and Roach rushed over to help her. Donna stayed by their mother and attempted to shake her awake. David Sr. on the other hand began to pound on the door like he was trying to break it down.

"Both of you get the fuck out here! Now! I'm not playing!" said David Sr. as he pounded as hard as he could on the door. All the yelling was scaring Roach and he retreated back into his room and hid in the closet. He knew that his father's anger wasn't directed at him but it still reminded him of when Daddy would go crazy from one of his headaches. He hoped that nothing bad happened to Trysta or Fool but that didn't seem very likely given their father's anger level.

"D-Daddy, I-I can explain!" said Trysta who had her hands up defensively. He ignored her and grabbed Fool ruffly by the collar. David Sr. didn't think that he was over re-acting considering the fact that his ten year old daughter just said that she was pregnant.

"You better be able to because you got some 'splainin' to do!" said Amanda like Ricky said that to Lucy. Amanda came to and for a moment wondered what happened but then she remembered and began to pull Trysta to her room by her ear. There was a lot of yelling at both of them and that was how Fool learned how old Trysta really was. After Fool learned Trysta's real age he ran down the street back to his apartment. David Sr. chased Fool down the street in nothing but his bathrobe. The neighbors were staring and even contemplating calling the police.

"You better run! If you ever so much as think about touching my daughter again I'll kill you, bury you in a shallow grave, dig you back up, and kill you again!" said David Sr. Lots of neighbors were staring at him and Alice took a picture when he passed her house. Her father covered her eyes when David Sr. bathrobe blew off. He made it three blocks before his bathrobe fell of and he was standing in the middle of the street in nothing but his boxers and a pair of socks. He let Fool keep running and put his bathrobe back on. He went home angry and embarrassed. Alice took a few more pictures for reasons she wasn't entirely comfortable discussing.

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Roach sat in his closet scared. He liked his closer because it was small and small places were safe. His father had outbursts but never that bad. His father reminded him of Daddy when he got that angry at Fool and Trysta. He forgot any anger that he had for his father because it was replaced with fear. He sat in his closet shaking while Amanda chastised Trysta in her bedroom. Morgan was sulking in his room because his sister had done something before him. Dot on the other hand was calling everyone she knew to tell them that Trysta was pregnant with Fool's child. This worried Roach. He wasn't just worried about Trysta and Fool but he was also worried about himself and Headbanger. During their time together they had ignored all forms of contraception. He stayed hidden in his room all day, his happy mood gone.

"David, c'mon you know we can't eat without you." said Donna. She knew that he was in his closet, she had seen him run in there when David Sr. had his freak out. Roach walked nervously next to her and neither of them said anything. Nothing needed saying.

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Amanda didn't know whether to laugh of to cry. Trysta had completely misread the test, that was funny, but she had admitted to having sex with a thirteen year old boy and posing as a twelve year old. That was bad, very bad. Amanda felt worried for her children, she didn't want them to end up like her and David Sr. She noticed that Roach was no longer happy when he came to the meal. She knew that all of the yelling must have upset him. Trysta wasn't at the table, she was confined to her room and she could only get out to go tot he bathroom or to go to school. There was a lot of tension in the room and that just fueled Roach's anxiety. He ate quickly and excused himself from the table but David Sr. stopped him. David Sr. knew that he had to talk to all of his children about his behavior that morning but his son was his most pressing concern.

"C'mere Davey, we gotta talk." said David Sr. motioning for Roach to follow him. Roach bit his lower lip but did as he was told. They went to the garage and David Sr. sat down. Roach sat next to him and felt his anger slowly retuning. He knew that he wasn't being rational but people were never rational when they were in love.

"Yeah?" asked Roach crossly. David Sr. thought that Roach was acting this way because of his outburst.

"Were you scared when I got mad at Trysta? It's alright if you were, I won't get mad at you."

"Uh-huh." said Roach looking down at his shoes ashamed. He knew that his father was nothing like Daddy but there were times when he forgot that.

"I didn't mean to scare you but I was so God damned mad I thought that I was going to have a heart attack." said David Sr.. rubbing Roach's back. He winced as he felt his ribs.

_'I know but I was just really scared. I get scared when people shout.' _wrote Roach

"I reminded you of him, didn't I?" said David Sr. coldly. Roach bit his lower lip hard enough to draw a few drops of coppery blood but said nothing. David Sr. took a moment to relax and Roach kept looking down, now out of anger.

_'Why did you do it?' _wrote Roach. He wrote these words with so much anger that he almost wrote through the paper.

"What do you mean, son? It was pretty obvious why I was so mad at Trysta and that boy. You do know that people don't look too kindly on age gaps, right?" asked David Sr. who thought that it was obvious why he was angry enough to shout like that. The fact that his son might not have known that it was wrong to have sex with someone so young worried him immensely

_'I mean about you kissing Alice.' _wrote Roach glaring daggers at his father. He thought that David Sr. was just trying to avoid the discussion. He wasn't at all afraid of his father, his anger had covered up any fear that he might have had.

"Oh." was all that David Sr. could say. He didn't even know that Roach had seen that. He was surprised by the coldness in his son's blue eyes when he handed him that slip of paper.

_'Are you going to leave mother and run away with Alice to Tahiti?' _asked Roach. He knew that he was stretching it there but he didn't care. He wanted to strike his father when he remembered the look of pure joy on Alice's face when they kissed. The only thing keeping his heart semi intact was what he did with Headbanger. In a way it canceled out what Alice did. Besides, he wasn't worthy of her anyway.

"What the fuck?!" said David Sr. in disbelief. He read and reread it before he looked at Roach with much disbelief.

_'Well? Are you?'_

"You-You're not serious, are you?"

_'Maybe I am and maybe I'm not. Depends.'_

"David, I would never dream of leaving your mother! Especially for the girl you like! The FOURTEEN YEAR OLD girl you like!" said David Sr. getting very close to Roach when he said this as if to make Roach understand him better. Roach was having a lot of anxiety and just nodded yes. David Sr. calmed down and made some more distance between him and Roach. Roach was happy about this.

"Son, she kissed me but I set her straight. Why don't you give her a reason to kiss you?" said David Sr. attempting to raise Roach's spirits. David Sr. was happy that Roach had found someone, he didn't want to do anything to jeopardize of discourage it. Roach bit the inside of his mouth and looked down guiltily as he remembered what he and Headbanger did. He wanted to give it to Alice but Alice had betrayed him. He forgave her but not before he lost his virginity to Headbanger.

"David Jr. I know that look, what did you do?" said David Sr. crossing his arms. It wasn't that he thought that his son could never get another girlfriend, just that it would be very difficult for him to.

_'Nothing.' _wrote Roach. He didn't want anyone to know about his first time, especially his father. He knew from the law books he read at the library that Headbanger would be in a lot of trouble for what they did because of the age gap.

"You did something, I know it."

_'I didn't do anything! Why don't you believe me?'_

"Because you look really, really guilty right now."

_'I look guilty?'_

"Oh yeah."

_'I still didn't do anything.'_

"I believe you but I'm just saying that you look really guilty."

_'I'm glad that you believe me because I didn't do anything impulsive out of heartbreak.'_

"Well, I'm glad about that son."

_'Good.'_

"Great. Hey, do me a favor and send Trysta and your mother in. We've got to have a serious talk with that girl." said David Sr. Roach made and 'OK' sign with his fingers and quickly left glad to be out of there. He told his mother and Trysta to go to his father and then he went up to his room. He hid under his covers for that night and attempted to sort that whole thing out in his head. He was sure of one thing though, Alice could never know about him and Headbanger. Besides, tomorrow would be better, right?

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Well, tell me what you guys thought!


	4. Roach's journal in recap

Disclaimer: see chapter 1

'_9/15/1991_

_ Dear Journal,_

_Do you ever get the feeling that even though you enjoyed something you could also come to regret it? Of course not, you're just a stupid book._

_I'm sorry._

_Me and Headbanger well…I'm afraid to write because I know that Donna reads you but well I'm worried. Aren't I always?_

_We fucked like stair people, there I said it!_

_She could be carrying my child._

_She could have given me some disease she has, stair people are crawling with disease. I should know, I was, am, one._

_My family could find out. That would be really bad for a whole list of reasons most of them too long or too obvious to list._

_Her new family could find out. Somehow I think that that could lead me in a lost lawyer, lover, and very angry parents. This overlaps with the whole my family could find out thing._

_Alice could find out._

_Messenger could get pissed at me._

_Boss could get pissed at me._

_She could be pregnant._

_Did I mention that she could be pregnant?_

_It's not that all of those other reasons don't matter because they really, really do. Especially the ones about Messenger and Boss, they scare me. Well, Boss scares me because he owns me and has hurt me before and Messenger would and could kill me because even though we're friends I'm not sure how much that means to him. Not to mention my parents reaction if one day I was suddenly to present them with their first grandchild. I'm still scared of my parents, I have trouble trusting adults. Alice would be…I'm not sure. Maybe she has feelings for me and maybe she doesn't, I'm not going to ask. I think that she doesn't know what she's feeling. _

_Life sucks…and so does Messenger._

_It's not just the fact that me and Headbanger rocked the bed, it's this whole entire thing called life._

_The thing called life worried the Thing Between the Walls. Ha!_

_Sometimes I enjoy that title and other times it degrades me._

_Life seems to enjoy degrading me._

_Mommy and Daddy seem to enjoy degrading me._

_They're in jail now and they'll be put away. I'm pretty sure that those were crimes against humanity but unfortunately they were doing something that the government allowed. Still, they broke all kinds of laws from kidnapping to murder to child abuse, grand larceny to jaywalking._

_I don't want to tell the world what happened, I just want to forget._

_-Roach'_

'_9-17-1991_

_ Life is like a bowl of cherries because sooner or later you choke on the pits._

_I've contemplated killing Daddy like that, letting him choke on a cherry pit but he just swallows them._

_I've thought a lot about how to do away with that man._

_All the people under the stairs have._

_I looked it up and we in fact do execute in New Jersey._

_Somehow it doesn't feel like enough._

_An eye for an eye, a tongue for a tongue, and ¾ of a life for ¾ of a life. That's how much of my life I spent living like a slave, like a cockroach._

_I hate it._

_I want to tell people, need to tell people!_

_I want to tell them how he used to beat me and Alice for the slightest infraction!_

_I want to tell them how he used to tie me up and let me hang for hours or even days from a bolt in the chimney!_

_I want to tell the entire world what he made me watch him do to countless women!_

_Yes, I saw that. It burns. I wonder why he didn't cut my eyes out but then I remember that he said that he was teaching me to be a man._

_I feel sick._

_It's the ghost of a memory now but I remember a girl who he tied up and played with for days. I think her name was Cara or Sara or maybe even Tara. I can barely remember anything about her except for that terrified look in her brown eyes. He made me watch but not touch. It made me so sick that I threw up all over myself. He beat me until I passed out and I woke up naked, burn from scalding water, and sore in my bed._

_I was 8. _

_I really don't want to remember this but I do._

_I do! I do!_

_And now through remembering this I never want to have sex again but I do want to tell people._

_If not to get him in even more hot water but for Sara, Cara, Tara, or whatever her name was._

_-David M. Cullen formerly a good boy'_

'_9-18-1991_

_ Dear Journal which is not a diary,_

_I am happy but not glad._

_I am tired but not sleepy._

_I am young but not a child._

_I am in lust and not love._

_I am in love and not lust._

_I am tall but not big._

_I am a fighter not a lover._

_I am her lover not her love._

_I am pale but not pasty._

_I am a boy not a man._

_I am a man not a boy._

_I am a cockroach not a boy._

_I am Roach not Cockroach._

_I am Cockroach not Roach._

_I am a slave not a man._

_I am free but I do not have freedom._

_And I hate that my mother knows this._

_-The free but without freedom slave to Boss known as Cockroach'_

'_9-19-1991_

_ To my Dearest Journal,_

_This is for my dearest Alice._

_Oh Alice._

_Alice why?_

_Why do you play these games with me?_

_Why do you cry?_

_Why are you so beautiful?_

_Yet so innocent?_

_Why do I picture you over my bed bent?_

_Why did I kiss you?_

_Why do I miss you?_

_Why did I touch you?_

_Why? Why? Why?_

_Why do I see you now not as a little girl but as a woman standing tall and proud?_

_Why you see me as a man standing tall and proud?_

_I want to go back to the time._

_The time of innocence and nursery rhymes._

_But not to the time of the house._

_Why did I take my clothes off for you?_

_Why did you do it too?_

_Why did you touch me?_

_Why did you suck me?_

_And why, dear God why, did I do the same for you?_

_Why did I cry?_

_And why even after you did all this did I not confess me feelings to you?_

_Why do I think that you have feelings for Fool?_

_I am truly a hopeless romantic._

_-Roach I-Am-Not-A-Poet Cullen'_

'_9-20-1991_

_Dear Journal,_

_I feel like crap._

_I feel like sleeping._

_The date of the first part of the trial is getting closer and closer and I can feel things getting worser and worser._

_More worse as Scribe would put it. Stupid grammatical eunuch._

_For starters because the date of the trial is getting closer and closer makes me have to see my lawyer who I will now refer to as Eloise._

_It's her real name._

_I won't ever call her by her new last name because she is, was, and forever shall be a Robeson._

_I have to go to her house more and more and she has to come here more and more. That in and of it's self wouldn't be such a bad thing if she didn't bring Messenger because he brought Headbanger and their child._

_That child!_

_Miracle a whole bunch of stuff including my under the stairs name Robeson._

_Richards, Messenger took a new Surname for himself and his child and I think that Headbanger might marry him._

_I want to marry her and I want that to be my child._

_I slept with her, I gave her something that I worked so hard to protect and I don't even think that she cares._

_I'm just another notch in her headboard._

_Haha, Headbanger's headboard._

_When they're here I can pretend like me and her never did it but when we go to her new house we always end up on her bed._

_Messenger doesn't even care._

_I know he loves her, just not in that way. After all, he is her brother._

_Brother, uncle, cousin, whatever._

_Another problem is my entire family._

_My mother looks sadder and sadder, my father looks more and more stressed, my sister Donna won't stop trying to figure out more about me by recording me and looking through my things even though she doesn't like what she's found out, Trysta seems to have become a mopey mess because of the entire thing that happened with Fool, Morgan really doesn't like me, and Dot is…Dot._

_Another problem is Alice. Yes, Alice._

_She's either forgotten our little stint into intimacy or she's in denial. Lately she seems like she's two different people, one the Alice that Mommy and Daddy made her into and the other who she would have been if she had not been kidnapped. I lover her so._

_Me and Fool are no longer friends. He is weary around me and he's not allowed to come over because he did it with Trysta._

_Even I'm angry about that and I consider myself to be a very calm person as of late thanks to antidepressants._

_On the bright side it looks like I'm going to live to be 16. hell, it looks like I'm going to live a long and full life!_

_-Cockroach the very worried thing between the walls'_

'_9-21-1991_

_Dear Journal,_

_Here is a list of things I never want to see again:_

_Messenger naked. He looks kinda like a little boy but with scars and a few badly done tattoos. Actually he looks…better than Scribe who I also had the misfortune of seeing naked. Scribe considers himself civilized so every so often he would bathe in the house and well every so often I would bather too…and there are only so many out of use bathrooms so…yeah. _

_My own back. 'Bad Boys Burn in Hell' is carved in there in deep, ugly letters. Well that and whip and belt marks. Nail scratches too but for those are for a whole different reason._

_AS I have stated above seeing Scribe naked. Seeing a person from the cellar is bad, seeing one of them naked is worse, and seeing a castrated one of them naked is the stuff of vomit inducing nightmares. To Scribes credit though I never would have guessed what he was but it's still not pleasant to see or even think about. The story goes like this; Daddy didn't like competition for Molly(Singer Scribe's wife and sister) so he kinda made competition impossible but not before they did the deed a few times. According to Messenger Singer had a child in the protection of the attic by the old thing between the walls before me but something happened to the child. She doesn't like to talk about it. Being castrated is much, much worse than having you tongue cut out…at least I can enjoy myself(Wink, wink)_

_Seeing the way people look at me. My family is used to me, Fool is finally used to me, Alice has been used to me, and Messenger and Headbanger don't know how not to be used to me but other people aren't so understanding. Their looks range from sympathetic to worried to scared to disgusted(I don't see disgusted very often unless I accidentally let my tongue stump show. I hate these looks. I just want to rejoin the world and not be stared at. I'm doing a pretty good job of it too. I have non-Robeson friends even if they are my siblings, Alice, Fool, and some of my closer cousins but that's not the point. I want to go to school. I just…do. My mother teaches me stuff at home but her education isn't really something for her to brag about considering how she had me and Donna before she finished school._

_Seeing Mommy and Daddy fuck. It's just…wrong._

_Seeing my own parents fuck. Also just…wrong. I gotta make more noise when I enter a room._

_Seeing people die. I just can't describe it. I'm used to it but I'm also not. There's just something about seeing the light leave someone's eyes that's just…it takes something from you and you can't get it back. The first time I ever saw Daddy kill someone was the day my innocence died._

_Seeing the birthday ritual for the people under the stairs. They carve themselves with either metal or bone knives. Strange cravings that I never really learned to understand. They are always in places covered by clothes and they are a way to tell how long someone's been in the cellar. Messenger has the most._

_Seeing the people under the stairs eat. Anything. They eat quickly and greedily like animals. Animals or maybe savages. Messenger and Headbanger still eat like that now but in a effort to blend in with their new family they try to eat like outsiders. Sometimes before I eat I can see them tearing into a body or whatever food I brought from the upstairs like the starving savage animals they are._

_Seeing Messenger make himself useful. It's just…bad. Whenever Boss tells him to make himself useful something, like a shadow, falls over him. What he means by that is that Messenger will be at the mercy of the people under the stairs. They'll do whatever they deem necessary to him for their own enjoyment. Poor little guy._

_Seeing Fool wet himself. He wet himself when he saw that guy being cut up. It was humiliating for both of us. Damn empathy._

_It's getting late and I'll thing of more later._

_-The mute who has seen evil_

'_9-22-91_

_ Dear Journal,_

_Today Morgan ate the fancy guest soaps in the bathroom that kinda look like cookies. He was kinda sick for a while but he stopped throwing up after a few hours and some ginger ale. Poor kid._

_Today Dot decided to run away and join the circus but we found her at the 7/11 trying to but provisions with Dad's emergency fund. Apparently the got suspicious when she was trying to change a hundred._

_Today I saw Alice's sister Debbie sunbathing topless in her backyard. She didn't notice me and Alice looking out her window at the world and she sat up and walked across her yard topless. Needless to say I think Alice might have gotten upset. _

_Today Miracle held her head up for a few seconds when Messenger laid her down on her stomach. I think that she would have an easier time lifting her head if she didn't have that rag tied around it but Messenger has a fear of her getting lice._

_Today I learned how to add fractions, or at least I think I did(My mother could barely remember how to do it and she confessed to me that I'd probably never use that)_

_Today I stepped on a nail. It hurt. I'm getting soft, iused to be able to quickly shrug off such pain but I'm getting used to a cushy life free of extreme pain and fearing for my life everyday. I like that._

_Today I started to read a book called 'Tuck Everlasting'. Makes me think about how I spent so much time trying to live when I could have easily died but what was the point of life. Not that I'll live forever mind you but I will live to see my 16__th__ birthday. I hope there's macadamia nuts in the cake._

_Today Alice went to dance class for an hour. She looked happy when she came back and showed me what she learned. She's getting very used to the outside world. I even saw her hug her father. Not Daddy, I think his name is Ronald or Richard or something like that. She becoming a different, less afraid more daring person. I like it. It's not like she wasn't daring before but now it's a less sneaky kind of daring._

_Today I brought up the moment of exploration me and Alice had with each other's bodies. She turned very red and began to hide her face and stutter so I dropped it and changed the subject. She looked relieved. I still like to daydream about her naked body though, just not around other people. I wonder if she ever thinks about me like that, I've seen her eyes go to that area before._

_Today or rather last night I had that dream again. You know the one. The one where I force Fool. I've had reoccurring nightmares before but none this vivid. I almost, maybe, possibly, want to ask Fool about this but I know better so I asked Messenger. He had been alive for ten or eleven, possibly even twelve more years than I have so he should know about these things. He says that I either blacked out and did it or some part of me wants to do that to him. I don't want to entertain any of those ideas._

_Today I mixed Kool-aid and lemonade together. It wasn't half bad actually. My mother didn't like it too much even though she tried to make like she did._

_Today I wrote a bunch of stuff that happened today._

_-Roach'_

'_9/25/1991_

_Sorry I haven't wrote for a while but I've been a very busy cockroach. First date of the trial starts on the first of October so I'm a little worried. I'm still writing a long letter to Daddy. It first started off as a way to get my unpleasant feelings out but now I'm actually going to give it to him. After all, I won._

_King me I won!_

_That struggle, that game of cat and mouse I played with him has finally ended and I came out the winner._

_Well, Fool was technically the winner but he couldn't have won if I hadn't pulled him into the wall to safety. So king him I guess…_

_Either way I'm a free cockroach now! Well, free-ish. I still can't go very far from home, have Alice in my room with the door closed, I have to be home by dinner, and Boss still own me but at least I'm not a prisoner._

_Sometimes I feel like a prisoner of my own mind._

_It's like I'm stuck on a roller coaster. Sometimes my days are ups where I'm happy and comfortable around my family and maybe even other people but then again sometimes my days are downs an I want to die. That's the life of a cellar person for you._

_Alice's roller coaster makes less steep drops than mine but when it does drop I'm always there for here. Everybody needs somebody to catch them when they fall, especially fragile little good girls._

_Messenger and Headbanger's roller coaster makes such steep drops it's scary. I fear for their daughter when they drop but they eventually come back up. Eventually. _

_I prefer the merry-go-round. It just goes round and round. I think I heard that in some movie. I like movies._

_Mommy and Daddy spent their adult lives up and they fell so hard, so old, so damned, and oh so deservedly. I hope that they never get up. I hope that they die in prison or at least get raped or beaten up or something like in the prisons in movies but not the good one with naked women on the channel I'm not supposed to watch._

_Suddenly my drops don't seem so big._

_I'm scared to see Boss again. Even though I'm much bigger than he is he still has power over me and it scares me a lot. I afraid of what he could do to me or what he wants to do to me. I know I could fight him, I know I could kill him, and I know I could never do those things to anybody. I'd thank him a lot for not beating me too badly and for letting Alice live in peace when I used to be in the house. There's a disorder I read about in a book at the library but I forget the name or it but it seems like I have it or something._

_I'm making good progress in learning sign langue, I'm even better at it then my own parents! It's not like I have anything better to do now that Alice has her own busy life that she can enjoy._

_My life is sorta busy I guess. My mother tries to teach me at home and takes me with her on errands. I used to think that doing stuff with her was girls stuff but it's kinda fun. Even the beauty shop is fun. Lots of girls to look at._

_That's something that I've noticed. When men find out who and what I am they act all stiff like they're walking on a mine field, boys think it's cool depending on their age, girls try to comfort me, and women also try to comfort me but in an adult way. They try and include me in their conversations, say that I can spend time with their children, I kinda mind the hugging me thing because no matter how big someone's breasts are I still like my personal space. They treat me good. And I got my hair dyed a nice uniform brown like my mother. My father didn't look too happy about me getting my hair dyed even if it was free of charge but I guess that it's a little girly I suppose. I have to get my roots done again. I almost drew the line at a manicure but my nails were terrible. Besides…it has the word man in it, right?_

_I'm even getting used to the sunlight to the point of sometimes I even go out without sunscreen. Maybe even without sunglasses if I'm lucky!_

_I'm worried about telling everyone everything if the other lawyer guy asks me everything but I guess I have to. My whole life it have to. Well, less now but I still want to live completely free. Nobody is completely free though when you think about it. We still have to follow the laws or go to jail. _

_It's getting late so I guess I should go to bed, we're going down to the courthouse tomorrow. Did you know that this is mainly for the false imprisonment and kidnapping charge? The other charges come later so the dates or going to be kinda screwy. Oh well, you can't win 'em all._

_-Cockroach or just Roach'_

'_9-26-10_

_Dear Journal,_

_A short list of everything that Mommy and Daddy can be charged with:_

_Imprisonment_

_Murder_

_Kidnapping_

_Rape_

_Animal Cruelty _

_Incest_

_Cannibalism_

_Fraud_

_Grand Larceny_

_Arson_

_Tax Evasion_

_Transporting a minor across state lines_

_Child Abuse_

_Felony Child endangerment_

_Sexual abuse_

_Aggravated assault and battery_

_Spousal Abuse_

_Accepting Stolen Goods_

_Selling Stolen Goods_

_Human Trafficking_

_Slavery_

_Animal sexual abuse(I didn't even know that one existed_

_Unpaid parking tickets_

_Littering_

_Jaywalking_

_Well, that's all I can think of off the top of my head but I gotta go now, bye!_

_-David Roach Mathias The Thing Between the Walls Cullen'_


	5. Waiting and talking

Disclaimer: see chapter 1

Roach was in bed but he wasn't asleep or even dressed except for a pair of boxers. He didn't want to go top the first part of what would surely be a very lengthy trial.

"David! Time to get up and greet the day!" said Amanda pounding on his door. She on the other hand was happy to see some kind of justice done for her son and her family.

"Uh huh!" said Roach unable to ignore a direct order from his mother. He got out of bed and began to make it as his mother came in. Amanda came in to bring him David Sr.'s old suit and she didn't expect to see what she saw. They looked at each other for a moment. It wasn't that Amanda hadn't see him like that before but it still wasn't a pleasant experience for either of them. Amanda read the words carved into his chest and looked at the other scars on his body, her eyes lingering on the gunshot wound that was now just another scar on his body.

"I-I'm sorry David." Said Amanda stuttering. Roach made an Ok sign with his fingers and motioned for her to leave.

"Something will happen to them, honey. Either they'll be punished in this world or the next but they will pay." Said Amanda as she left. Her words made him feel just a bit better and he put his bathrobe on and went to take a shower. He took care not to look at himself in the mirror but he couldn't help it. He wasn't as pale but he still looked like he could use some sun. His injuries both self-inflicted and otherwise seemed to heal themselves up nicely and he was lean, not skinny. He ran a hand through his now uniform hair and sighed.

'**So, this is my life. I look good I suppose but will they recognize me? Not just Mommy and Daddy but the people under the stairs too. Not that I want them to that is. I look like a new man, I feel like a new man. Hell, I AM a man! Note to self: thank Headbanger for making me a man.' ** Thought Roach as he stepped into the semi warm water. All kinds of thoughts ran through his mind ad he stood there, most of them worried ones. He was grateful for the fact that the regular soap no longer caused him problems. He knew what he had to do, he had to live in denial like his family did about Trysta and Fool.

'**Today is going to be a normal day. I am going run errands and learn with my mother and then spend time with either Alice or members of my family. Dinner will be on the table between five thirty and seven thirty, my mother will dye my roots and my father will give her disapproving looks while she does this and I will feel bad about that, Alice will tell me in grate detail about her day, we will all pretend that the thing with Fool never happened, we will all pretend to be normal, and I will try not to hurt myself.' ** Thought Roach as he stepped out of the shower and tied a towel around his waist. He then brushed his teeth and hair and used too much spray on deodorant.

"You're the reason for that hole in the ozone layer, David." Said Morgan as he barged into the bathroom and began to undress.

'_What the hell!' _ signed Roach. He had a pretty decent vocabulary going but the problem was he was learning much faster than his siblings. It took Morgan a minute to figure out what he was saying.

"Mom says I gotta shower so get out!" said Morgan pointing to the door. Morgan often switched between liking his older brother and wishing he was still with the Robeson's. He had said this only once to his parents using those exact words and had been hit with a belt when Roach was away. Morgan blamed Roach.

'_What happened?' _signed Roach pointing towards the marks on Morgan's back. They looked like the belt marks that used to cover his and Alice's back's when they were with the Robeson's but Roach was confused because Morgan wasn't crying or bleeding.

"None of your business!" said Morgan stripping down completely and getting into the shower not caring that Roach was there. Morgan figured that Roach had seen a million times worse so he didn't give it a second thought. Roach however didn't want to get off the subject of the marks on his brother's back but he knew that now wasn't the best time to discuss it with him. Roach put his bathrobe on and went to his room to get changed. He got dressed quickly, being well versed on how to get in and out of a suit. He even tied his own tie and went downstairs. Some members of his family were eating breakfast but his parents were rushing around worried about this, that, and the other.

"Pass the butter!" said Dot from the table. In an effort not to get her good dress dirty she had wrapped herself in plastic wrap.

"Why do you need the butter! You're eating Frosted Flakes! We're not millionaires!" Said a very stressed Amanda as she tried to find her other dress shoe.

"But mo-om! They're more than good…they're grreeaat!" said Dot as she ate loudly. Roach rolled his eyes and poured himself some cereal. He stopped mid bite as he had a flashback. He remembered being young and eating in his room. Mommy had made him a new suit but eh had spilled milk on it. She lost it and threw him against the walls until he passed out. He shook his head and continued eating. When he continued eating the entire room felt like it had exhaled. His family knew that he had flashbacks but they could never predict where, when, and in what form they would take. Sometimes they would be mild and he'd continue about his day and other times he'd end up screaming and crying on the floor. He noticed that no one would look at him and he didn't really know how to feel about that. On the one hand they weren't pestering him with questions but on the other hand he felt like talking. Not about the big things of course, just his general feelings.

"Morgan, you can't wear a tuxedo shirt to court! You want people to think we're morons?" yelled David Sr. as Morgan came downstairs in Nike's, blue jeans, and a tuxedo shirt.

"But Dad, it looks so cool!" said Morgan stomping his foot. Roach felt anxiety as his father got angrier and angrier but he tried his best not to let it show. He knew how his parents both felt bad when he was scared in any way by them.

"You look like an idiot." Said Trysta sourly. She felt bad about the trouble she caused and the way Fool had lost all contact with her. She also felt bad about losing her virginity at ten years old but she tried to deny that it happened. The truth was like sunlight, people used to think that it was good for you.

"You look like a-" started Morgan when Amanda cut him off.

"Nobody looks like anything! Morgan, you change into your fancy clothes and meet me by the car! David Jr., you finish eating and do the same! Dot, take that plastic wrap off, put the food back in the pantry, and take off those sandals! Trysta, brush your hair and get that food out from in between your teeth! David! For the love of God that suit went out of style in 1979! Change into the one your father gave you and lets get going! I want to beat traffic!" said a very stressed and disheveled Amanda. Everybody listened to her without complaint, it wasn't a good idea to make her even madder than she was then. They all piled into the car and got on the highway. The car ride was silent except for the radio which blasted upbeat oldies. Trysta was tired of oldies and reached over the seat to turn the station.

"_Well I'd just like to remind our listener's of the domino theory. It doesn't just apply to the cold war folks."_

"_How do you figure?"_

"_Well with this Robeson thing there had to be a few people keeping it quiet."_

"_You mean the financials or the…other thing?"_

"_That other things is called child abuse, incest, cannibalism, molestation, kidnapping, and imprisonment!"_

"_Calm down!"_

"_I'm just saying that with an operation this big there had to be other people involved."_

"_Yeah, I heard that they kept more than sex in the family."_

"_Speaking of that family one of the lawyers is their escaped sister!"_

"_You're kidding!"_

"_No, I'm not! Apparently nobody took her seriously back then but now she wants some kind of compensation."_

"_I guess it all boils down to the almighty dollar huh?"_

"_Money makes you crazy."_

"_True so anyway onto our next caller-"_ Amanda turned off the radio and everyone was quiet. The air in the car was tense and Morgan picked that time to break the silence.

"Were there other people involved?" asked Morgan loudly. Everybody looked at him and then at Roach. Roach gave a small nod and pressed his head against the window, that was his way of telling his family that he wasn't in the mood to talk. They drove on in silence.

"Are you sure you want to go Alice? We don't have to." Said Ronald as he put a reassuring hand on Alice's shoulder. Alice tensed up and he removed his hand.

"We don't have a choice, Ronald." Said Mary-Ann as she began to serve everyone breakfast. Alice was silent. During the past few days she had regressed back into who she used to be. She thanked her mother for the food, said grace, and began to eat slowly. Her entire family knew that there was a problem but Alice tried not to let it show. She felt like screaming and throwing her food everywhere just to get her feelings out but she knew much better than that. She was a good girl after all.

"I still don't understand why I have to go! I wasn't kidnapped!" said Debbie loudly still not dressed. Over time she had grown to resent Alice just a little bit for the love and attention that Debbie thought was hers. As far as Debbie was concerned this was just another way for her parents to show her how much more they liked Alice than her.

"Because I said so!" said Mary-Ann loudly. This scared Alice and she began to retreat into herself. Mary-Ann noticed and lower her voice.

"You'll do as you're told for once in your life and you'll like it!" said Mary-Ann in a harsh whisper. She didn't want to go because going meant that she'd have to see the Robeson's and hear exactly what they had done to her daughter. She knew that there were things that Alice had kept from her and she figured that Alice had a good reason for not wanting to talk about it.

"Fine! I hate you!" said Debbie as she stomped her way up the stairs to get dressed.

"You and a bunch of other people!" said Mary-Ann as she began to collect the breakfast dishes. Alice went quietly to put her new nice shoes on. She wished that Roach was there, he always knew how to make her feel better. Alice wanted nothing more but to crawl into bed and stay there for the entire day.

"Lets all just calm down for a minute." Said Ronald even though there wasn't much in it. He was feeling an insurmountable amount of guilt for Alice. The more time he spent around her the more he realized she was missing. She hadn't had a chance at a normal life and that was all he wanted to give her and now they we all going to face the two people who had robbed her of that. He supposed that it could have been worse, they could have been the Cullen's. The thought of ever being the Cullen's sent a shudder through Ronald's body, at least Alice could speak. They all pilled into the car and rode to the sounds of Debbie's complaining. Every so often Ronald would steal a glance at Alice through the rearview mirror. She looked like a lifeless doll, it broke his heart. Alice felt like a lifeless doll, like the lifeless doll she had been raised to be.

'**I want to go home. I want to see Roach. I want to be good. I have to be good. I am good. No! Speak no evil! I'm bad! Bad! BAD! I was such a very bad girl but now I have to be a good girl so that Mommy and Daddy will love me again. Mommy and Daddy don't love me, Real mother and father love me but not Debbie. If they loved me than why did they let Mommy and Daddy take me? This is all Mommy and Daddy's fault! If they hadn't taken me than I wouldn't have to be bad and say bad things to get them in trouble! I HATE THEM!' ** thought Alice as she stared straight forward at the long winding road in front of them. She was awed as usual at the size of the road, neighborhood, and by extension the world. She has spent so long trapped in that house that she never got to experience the world. Sometimes when she left her house she'd walk for a long time in one direction just to see what was there. She didn't dare make any turns from fear of getting lost in the city. She eventually fell into a slight sleep as she watched the road turn to highway.

"Miracle, you no gotta cry! I feed you right now, 'k?" said Messenger as he cradled Miracle in his arms while her formula heated up. It was quite the balancing act but he learned to manage. He was better able to stand on his own two feet now that the bones that had broken and set wrong were more or less corrected. He was finally in adequate health and he loved it.

"Give her to me." Said Headbanger holding her arms out. Messenger nodded and handed her Miracle. She then proceeded to gently rock her and make baby noises. Messenger handed her the bottle and Miracle began to eat.

"When Eloise say we gotta go?" said Messenger. His speech had gotten better quickly but he still sounded simple whenever he spoke. Headbanger shrugged her shoulders and then continued with feeding Miracle. Headbanger had been living with Messenger for a few weeks and was trying her best to become a part of the family. Eloise was expecting another person at the same level as Messenger but Headbanger was more intelligent and better adapted to the outside world. Her reading and writing skills were almost at adult level and she knew a bit about child rearing mostly from books. She wanted to be the mother that she never had and that started with feeding Miracle. She was borderline over feeding Miracle but she didn't mean any harm, she just wanted a happy, healthy child.

"Do you two want me to hold her?" said Carolina. They both shook their heads. Miracle, as far as they were concerned, was theirs and no one else's. They took care of her with what they were given either by Eloise and Carolina or by various charities. Miracle wore a long white dress that Headbanger had made. Her Robeson red hair was tied back on a bow and bonnet. Messenger constantly picked at his suit, he didn't much like clothes even at the best of times but now he was very, very nervous. Headbanger wasn't feeling much better. She felt like she was turning into Scribe, wanting so badly to be an outsider that she would turn her back on all that she had become. She didn't want to be a stair person and the fact that she was forced to acknowledge that she was didn't exactly make her happy.

"Coffee." Said Eloise simply as she reached for her mug. She had been up most of the night with memory nightmares. She hadn't seen her brother and sister in decades and she was extremely nervous. She could barely bring herself to look at the odd family across the table from her. The all looked like her, she looked like Elmira, and Elmira looked like their mother Dara.

"When we go?" said Messenger handing her the sugar. She looked into his eyes, he had her daughter's eyes. She looked away. Messenger didn't notice because he was already very excited not only by the fact that they were going to a new place but also at the prospect of seeing his brothers and sisters again. This wasn't the place for Miracle though and he felt bad about that. He pulled himself inward as he thought of the way that Miracle would have ended up living her life had they not have been saved.

"Soon, Messenger, soon." Said Eloise drinking her coffee as she drove. That satisfied Messenger and he then went back to Headbanger and Miracle. After a bit of time they went on their way in the car. The car ride was silent except from little baby noises from Miracle. So far her development had been a little delayed and she didn't always make eye contact but that didn't surprise Eloise considering who the parents were and the inbreeding that they came from. Technically Headbanger might have at least been his cousin if not his half sister but Messenger's paternity was difficult to determine. They looked up in awe at the crowd around the courthouse and the largeness of the building it's self. That awe turned to fear as they held each other. They were led to a back entrance where they wouldn't be mobbed by everybody.

"What a madhouse!" said Amanda as they tried to avoid the crowds. Everyone hunkered down in an effort not to be seen and they managed to get in through a back door. They entered a medium sized room and Roach gasped. They were mostly there. The people under the stairs all milled around speaking nearly unintelligibly while official looking people looked bored. Some of them left in pairs out of an almost out of site door but nobody noticed. Roach grabbed onto his parents from nerves.

"Are we early?" asked Dot attempting to walk to the people under the stairs. She in her childish innocence assumed that they would be like her brother but Roach knew better and pulled her back quickly.

"Actually we're a little late." Said David Sr. looking at his watch. He felt stupid having had rushed his entire family out of the house so fast just to have to stand awkwardly in a room while they waited for a very unprofessional judge. He looked at Roach and remembered why they were there. He wasn't upset at being there anymore.

"The judge, dear sir, is late. You remind me of someone whom I know must be dead by know. " Said a very familiar voice. It was Scribe in all of his castrated glory. He wore a simple but immaculately clean suit. His black hair was slicked down to perfection and his skin was surprisingly clear. He looked almost normal. Almost.

"Thanks uh…" said David Sr. not quite sure what to make of the person who was speaking to him. Scribe was just under five feet tall, horribly scarred by his standards, and walked awkwardly. To David Sr. he was an unfortunate but to Roach he was as close to perfection as they got. If Scribe had not ruined his life that day he could have been the perfect boy child the Robeson's were looking for. David Sr. saw signs of recognition from his son and then realized what this poor, unfortunate, person was. It was obvious even with the suit and Messenger bag what he was.

"(Scribe.)" signed Roach to his father. He stood tall and proud because he felt superior to Scribe for actually having been born an outisder. After all, he was almost what Scribe desired most to be, an outsider. He still knew their world but he didn't embrace it. He wasn't even so far that it was a struggle to abandon the old ways. He never liked the old ways in the first place anyway.

"Cockroach, you're alive?" said Scribe looking extremely surprised. Scribe was five feet tall with stringy black hair. Unlike the other people under the stairs he didn't slouch, he stood at his full height even though this made his walking awkward. He carried a Messenger bag stuffed to the brim with the records that it was his job to take. He considered himself to be the most civilized person under the stairs and the most likely to succeed in the outside world. He had his eyes, ears, and tongue. What he was missing was worse than loosing any of those.

"Yeah. (Surprised?)" Said Roach looking away from his gaze. Roach knew he was bigger, knew he was stronger, knew that he was the outsider and not Scribe but he still felt unworthy under Scribe's gaze. After all, Scribe had been in the cellar and still managed to remain free without using violence unless needed. Scribe's cold blue eyes looked cruel through the mask of surprise. He had perfected that in the twelve plus years he had spent in that cellar. His eyes looked like Daddy's and that was the scariest thing about him. He was capable of great things. Horrible, but great. Just because Daddy had tried to make him a woman didn't mean he acted like one, at least that was what he strived for. He never really felt adequate next to his brothers and even his sisters which was the main reason he was the way he was. He was only dominated by one person and that was Boss.

"Some may think that your uncanny ability to live is where your namesake comes from but I know better. Our dear brother Stairmaster knows too." Said Scribe with a smirk. Roach looked him in the eye. He was glad that his family was now turning their attention to Morgan who was complaining loudly but he knew that they would ask about what Scribe had said.

"(My brother is named Morgan. My only brother is named Morgan.)" said Roach. He then motioned to his family standing a bit behind him. Scribe felt a flash of fury but was cut off by the person walking with timid but regal steps behind him.

"Scribe, who're you talking to?" said a voice that Roach had hoped never to hear again. Scribe noticed the look that Roach got and felt a momentary rush of power. Roach was always someone who seemed to exist outside of their world in his own world of fearlessness or at least bravery to the point of stupidity. Scribe chuckled as he realized that he had the power to make Roach, the man who had stood up to Daddy and survived, feel something that he had felt everyday since he was born. Fear.

"Cockroach, I do believe your master is calling." Said Scribe coyly as he moved away towards his wife/sister Singer. She was the healthiest looking woman they had next to Alice even when her hair was covered tightly with a purple rag and her fingernails were bitten down to the nub. Her skin was less a sickly pale but a bit red from time in the sun. Roach excused himself and his parents, shocked by what they had just witnessed, said nothing so Roach took that as permission and left.

"Who, what, where, when, and why?" asked Boss tiredly. He too looked much better. Roach was grateful for the sunglasses that covered his empty eye sockets, the holes where his eye used to be were disturbing even by his standards. He stared straight forward as if deep in thought, and he was. He reached under the pot on his head, his crown, to Scratch at his greasy black hair. He resembled Daddy both in looks and mannerisms. Roach swallowed a lump in his throat.

"(Cockroach, The Ting Between the Walls, at your right in the courthouse, to continue to be by your right through all of this, as is my duty to you.)" said Roach having scripted this in his mind time and time again with a false confidence. Sometimes he was in fact Boss' friend of sorts and confident and other times he was Boss' personal punching bag. He hoped to God the Boss was less violent due to his time away from both the cellar and his unquestioned power.

"Cockroach. Roachy-boy." Said Boss tracing his arm while still facing forward. That was something that unnerved him about those who had their eyes cut out, they were always facing forward. Roach didn't know why that bothered him but a lot of strange things, like drumsticks and tuxedo cats, did. Boss suddenly struck him hard in the arm. No one noticed this because they all too busy to think about what the people formerly under the stairs could be doing.

"You live?" said Boss crossly. He was both amazed that Roach could have lived through his ordeal and angry that Roach got to live while so many of his brothers and sisters had died.

"Y-Yeah." said Roach quietly being the subservient slave boy he had learned to be. He looked to ground and shook just a bit. He always looked to the ground because Boss liked it that way. How Boss knew when he was looking down was a question that had been plaguing him since he met the man.

"Fly is dead. He was a friend and brother. He died and yet the outsider born not brother lives?" said Boss sitting down. Roach knew that he had better sit too. He didn't like where this was going and he prayed that Boss didn't take it upon himself to punish him. Not with all of those people around at least.

"Yeah?" said Roach as more of a question. He looked over and saw Messenger, Headbanger, and Miracle arrive with their new family. They looked at Boss with a mixture of joy and horror but stayed near their new family.

"You were shot." Said Boss as a fact. He was now very deep in thought and reached out and felt the newly healed burn on Roach's arm.

"Yeah." Said Roach now feeling like a terrified broken record. He knew that Boss was cooking something up but he didn't know what. Boss liked the corner of his mouth in thought. That was always a misleading sign.

"Daddy shot you and yet you lived. Why have I not seen you if you lived? All who lived are now in the same outsider building." Said Boss choosing his words carefully as if to sound important and sophisticated. That was a common trait of those with their tongues still in, to distance themselves from their tongueless brothers and sisters. Boss didn't notice that what he was saying was more on the level of a child and very confusing.

"Yeah." Said Roach yet again. Boss smacked Roach and Roach tried not to react. Reacting would only encourage Boss to do it again.

"Say something else you motherfucker!" said Boss angrily. Roach rubbed his arm and tried to find some sort of calmness. He didn't want anybody, especially his family, to see him like this with his master.

"(I-I saved Fool and Fool saved me.)" said Roach trying not to sound too scared. Boss smirked. He loved it when people were subservient to him as he once was back when he was still Twig and even before then when he was Frederick.

"Ah yes, Fool. Do you want to know something, Cockroach?" said Boss in a mock question. There was only one answer.

"(Yes.)" said Roach biting a nail in stress. Boss flinched as he bit it off with a loud crack. He almost missed that sound and the other sounds he had lived with for almost an entire decade. Almost.

"If we had not gotten out of it when we did he would have been for you." Said Boss feeling the skin under Roach's sleeve. He knew that this was Roach, it sounded like him, but he felt cleaner and smoother. Roach didn't want to touched at all but he bared with it because he knew the punishment for crying out in protest.

"(Really?)" asked Roach looked right at Boss. That meant that he at least valued somewhat to Boss. Somewhat. Boss at least valued him for what he was capable of. He knew that it would have been too much to ask boss to value him as a person. The people under the stairs didn't admit it but they often got attached to each other. It only made their eventual deaths worse.

"Why would I lie to you about this?" said Boss now getting up. Roach, confused, followed suit. Roach was tempted to say several thins to Boss about him being a liar and having lied to him many times in the past but he knew not to do that. He had learned 'Speak No Evil' well.

"(You-you wouldn't?)" said Roach seeing his family talking to Eloise about something. He also saw a visibly distraught Fool with his family. He also saw the people under the stairs trying hard to reenact their lost society.

"We will walk now." Said Boss smoothing out his suit. It was dark, like his eyes used to be. Roach did the same and followed. This was often Boss' way of saying 'I need you to beat someone up because I don't feel like it and it is your job'. Roach hoped that this wasn't one of those situations.

"(May I ask where?)" said Roach feeling a little bit better. Boss let out a huffy breath, he was getting to that part. He had little patience for anyone, even himself. Roach realized his mistake and tensed up.

"I believe that I should meet my savior, Cockroach, and you will take me there." Said Boss. Roach could think a million valid reasons why he should say no to Boss but his severed tongue did the direct opposite.

"(Yes sir.)" said Roach bowing his head respectfully. Fool then broke off from his family and began to mill around the people under the stairs looked at him with a sort of curiosity but they didn't dare go too near the outsiders because they weren't. Roach tried to drag the walk on but Boss told him dangerously to pick up the pace.

"Foo?" said Roach quietly. He was confounded about what to feel about Fool but on the other hand Fool did do unspeakable things with his sister. His ten year old sister, Trysta. Roach put it to a rest within himself and told himself that it was purely business between them.

"I wanted to meet you." Said Boss sticking his hand out directly in front of himself. Roach looked for a minute at a visibly distressed Roach and shook Boss hand quickly.

"I-I'm Fool." Said Fool not quite sure what to make of the person who was speaking to him. Boss was barely taller than him, he was pale, scarred, and he wore and old pot on his head. Too the people under the stairs he was power personified but to Fool he was a disturbing sight to be seen.

"I know." Said Boss now sitting again. Roach motioned for Fool to do the same. Fool complied and sat directly next to Boss. Boss' sun glasses fell off and he sat revealing his empty eye sockets. Fool felt sick to his stomach but Roach barely batted an eyelash and put Boss' sun glasses back on.

"Many thanks, Cockroach." Said Boss as he dusted himself off. He wanted to be as clean as possible as to be healthy. He had lived for twenty three years and he intended to live at least three more. People under the stairs rarely saw twenty five but he had good odds for himself being the leader and all, plus he had Roach for protection.

"(Many welcomes.)" said Roach. He was even talking like a stair person now, again at least. Looking around it was like looking through the looking glass and back again all at once. He saw the civilized world, the outside world, and then he saw the cellar. Human nature twisted and turned into it's most basic elements. Roach didn't know to which he belonged to but quickly focused on the task at hand. He saw that his family was busy but to his horror Alice was looking right at him. He told her in that basic sign langue that they both had learned to stay away. She complied, knowing that it was best to listen to Roach.

"You took my food from me." Said Boss simply recalling their first meeting.

"Huh?" said Fool not remembering that. Roach bit his lower lip. He knew how Fool didn't like to reminded of his short lived time in the cellar. Fool then understood and got the feeling that he should apologize to Boss.

"I'm sorry." Said Fool quite uncomfortably. Boss reached into his pocket and pulled out some stale crackers. He put one in his mouth and ate quickly. He offered one to Roach and Roach took it much to Fool's disgust. Roach knew better than to refuse anything from his owner.

"Much forgiveness. Slightly stale cracker?" asked Boss. Roach motioned for Fool to take it and he reluctantly did. Fool didn't eat it though but Boss didn't realize it.

"You actually took it from Stairmaster but it was to be for me. You did however move my television a while I was listening to it but I have long forgiven you for that since you did set us all free and stuff." Said Boss putting the napkin back in his pocket. Roach wiped the crumbs off of him and straightened the pot on his head, already well versed in his duties.

"Thanks, uhh…" said Fool realizing that he didn't know the name of the person he was speaking to. Scribe took this moment to walk over with his wife Singer. Roach stuck out his tongue stump at them but since they were used to much worse things it had no affect.

"Boss formerly Twig formerly Frederick. You may call me Boss I guess. Wait…since he's an outsider should I let him call me by my outsider name?" asked Boss talking like Fool wasn't even there.

"(I guess.)" said Roach with a shrug. He himself didn't really know but he wasn't about to tell Boss that. In the background Scribe snickered.

"What do you think, Timothy?" asked Boss loudly. Scribe glared at him while Fool and Roach but gave him a closer look to make sure he was really blind.

"I don't know, Frederick. Why don't we ask Alice?" said Scribe in a bold voice. Alice looked over at the sound of her name and Roach motioned for her to stay where she was.

"That's Good Girl?" asked Singer pointing towards Alice. Roach resentfully nodded. He didn't want Alice to have anything to do with the cellar and its former inhabitants.

"Come now Cockroach, it's not he could do anything to her even if he wanted to. Right Scribe? Or maybe I should just ask your wife." Said Boss. Roach motioned for Fool to get away from the quickly brewing fight. Fool wisely listened.

"I'll show you what I can do, dear brother." Said Scribe looking Boss in the area where his eyes would have been. This verbal battle got the attention of Dot who, despite Roach orders to stay away came right up to them unnoticed.

"Molly already knows what I can do, don't you dear sister?" said Boss harshly. Singer's eyes went to the floor. Being a married woman what she did was shameful by their standards but she had needs just like everyone else.

"Leave her out of this, Twig, or maybe I should just bring up how you got that particular name?" said Scribe getting very close. Boss reached up for the handle of his cooking pot/ crown. He was reluctant to fight Scribe because if Scribe wanted to leader he could just kill Boss and end his reign.

"As I recall it was not Bites but dear Messenger boy who first called you that. Why was that, Twiggy boy?" said Scribe in a mock question. Roach put himself between the two of them and pushed them apart.

"Maybe then I should tell everybody exactly who you were caught in bed with that led to this predicament?" Said Boss smiling. Both of their reasons were equally shameful by anybody's standards so it was a damned if you do damned if you don't situation.

"(Maybe we could all just calm down?)" said Roach trying to stop a physical fight before it happened. Everybody on the other hand wanted a fight mainly for lack of the violence they had been accustomed to, it was their little bit of home.

"Maybe Good Girl, or better yet your family, would like to know who first called you Cockroach, or rather called it out?" said Scribe. Roach's blood went cold so he did the first thing that came to mind, he grabbed a fistful of Scribe's hair and gave it a good tug. Not hard enough to get it out put still quite painful.

"(Maybe Messenger should get to be dominant for once?)" said Roach loudly. Messenger looked over at the sound of his name. Alice looked at Roach with wide eyes and he calmed down, he didn't like to scare Alice. Boss smiled slightly but composed himself.

"If Messenger not dominant then Miracle not get here." Said Messenger balancing Miracle on his hip a few feet away. He didn't want Miracle to be anywhere near the people under the stairs because he saw her as being better than them and he knew that something bad might happen to her. They often mercy killed their young after all.

"He does have a point." Said Singer. Scribe gave her a look that told her to stay out of it. Singer looked down and began to play with her bracelet. Messenger rolled his eyes as Miracle began to become restless.

"No, the woman can be on top. You know that, don't you, Scribe?" said Boss. There was a slight chuckling from every person under the stairs in ear shot. Scribe was ready to attack Roach but Singer held him back. She knew that if there was a fight Scribe could get seriously hurt, especially if he fought Roach, and she didn't want that to happen.

"Well, I know that you know what it's like to be on the bottom, Frederick." Said Scribe. If Boss still had eyes they would have been very intense as he began to try and hurt Scribe. Scribe just ran away over to where the outsiders were and nobody followed him. They were uneasy about outsiders they didn't know. The crowd thinned and Boss calmed down. They didn't think much of this, they found it familiar.

"Walk me to my possessions." Said Boss standing up. Roach bit what was left of his tongue and led him over to Messenger and Headbanger. Miracle was in a stroller being pushed by Carolina.

"You alive!" said Messenger running in his peculiar way to Boss. He was already well aware that Boss was alive but he still had to seem happy about it. Headbanger came more slowly knowing that Boss would not be happy with her. She had given him a son before but the child was killed by Boss himself out of mercy. She had given birth to two girl joined together and dead from birth. Well, it was more like one child with part of an extra body stuck to her. The new Oracle and Scribe fought over whether or not it was an omen or just a simple, if not horrific, birth defect. In the end it was an omen of doom.

"Yes I am, Aaron, yes I am." Messenger stopped in his tracks. Nobody in their right mind would ever call him by what he supposed was his real name. He knew not to express displeasure but his anger and distress could be seen. He was now reminded of his long dead mother and he curled himself up. He just needed a moment to calm himself down.

"Is Anita there, David?" asked Boss taking a sick sort of pleasure from causing everyone discomfort. A simple word, their real names, could invoke intense feelings from all of them. Messenger, especially, didn't like his real name to be spoken by anybody. It had last been spoken by his husband many years ago. Headbanger just didn't like to be reminded of who she used to be all those years ago but she allowed outsiders to call her that because she felt that they were superior to her. Roach just didn't like it when other people outside of his family called him David. Alice didn't even do that and they were very close.

"I'm here, Boss." Said Headbanger. She was dressed nicely in a simple dress and cloth for her hair. She pushed a few pieces loose red hair that had escaped out of the cloth from her eyes as she looked at Boss. He looked healthier but not as healthy as he could have been. She felt bad for him but didn't show it. It was something she had learned in the cellar; care only for yourself. Boss stroked her and then hit her in the arm. Messenger shielded Miracles eyes from that. Miracle didn't notice.

"Whore." Was all that Boss said. The fact that Miracle was cooing was what had set him off like that. It was with that sound that he remembered that she couldn't bare him a healthy child but she could do so for Messenger. Both Messenger and Roach knew not to do anything.

"You a whore." Said Messenger simply. He knew that he should have just kept his mouth shut but over time he had grown found of the mother of his baby and he had also developed a level of empathy. Roach looked very alarmed and put his hand on Boss' should to hold him back. Headbanger put her hand over Messenger's mouth to keep him from saying anything more.

"What the fuck did you just say to me?" said Boss coldly. Roach tightened his grip on Boss. This only served to make Boss even madder.

"You got ears!" said Messenger standing closer to Boss. Messenger stood at his full height which was only a little less than five feet but it was a rare sight to see. Roach dragged Boss away from Messenger and Headbanger did the same for Messenger.

"Let me go or I swear to God-!" said Boss struggling. Roach let him go and took a step back. The people under the stairs were again watching this spectacle with a keen interest. Seeing Roach stop a fight rather than be in one was very rare for them.

"David come here." Said David Sr. Boss jumped back at the sudden and familiar voice and scurried away a few feet. Roach gave his father a pleading look but complied. There were whispers both intelligible and missing tongue babble.

"That his father you idiots!" said Scribe helping Boss up. They had a very strange friendship to them but it was a friendship none the less. Well, it was part friendship part empathy for his blind brother and part a very confusing romantic realationship. Not that they liked to admit that it was romantic though.

"How's he have a father?" said a voice from the crowd. It was slightly slurred and no one was really sure who said it but this comment started a fury of speculation. David Sr. was soon found under their gaze as they compared him to Roach.

"First his mother spread her-" said someone else taking the question the wrong way. Roach stuck out his tongue stump and then mimed cutting it off. The person shut up and David Sr. saw his son as the person that they saw him as for a split second. He was someone not to be messed with but also not to be completely feared as well. He was Roach.

"I know that part! I thought he was our brother." Said another person. Roach shook his head no and then pointed to his family. They began to deliberate amongst themselves while Boss and Scribe muttered about them being idiots.

"You're all a bunch of animals!" said a chillingly familiar voice. A voice that cracked with suffering and age. It was Daddy. He was being led in chains in an orange prison uniform. He had been arrested while in prison for attempting to kill and possibly eat another inmate. They got away quickly except for those who couldn't see and therefore didn't trust themselves to run in an unfamiliar environment and Roach who felt a rage not like any rage known before.

"And you're just like one of us now." Said Boss with a false confidence. He felt like he was getting his revenge. With that comment the people under the stairs began to see him as others did, as an old man. Prison had aged Eldon substantially, even Messenger who considered himself an old man could tell.

"You? You is what Messenger was 'fraid of? I 'member you bein' more like not as like us but now you like old, old not strong not scary. You is weak." Said Messenger holding Miracle. Now all eyes were on him.

"You little-!" said Eldon now mad. He vaguely recognized Messenger and assumed that he was another one of his failed attempts at a perfect child.

"I bigger than you, ask Mommy." Said Messenger. Now everybody from the cellar was laughing while all the outsiders were disgusted. Messenger smiled and took a bow

"Ask Cockroach! He was damn near close to cutting his own eyes out! Not that that would bother me all that much." said Scribe. That earned him more laughter and Roach a questioning look. Roach signed to his family not to ask.

"(Better my eyes than your cock!)" said Roach. Roach wasn't making Scribe mad, he was infuriating Daddy. If Daddy wasn't chained up and surrounded by armed guards he would have killed each and every one of them starting with Roach.

"You'd know a lot about that wouldn't you?" said Daddy who knew full well what happened between Roach and Stair master. Now everybody was silent. It was common sense among them not to talk about that to Roach.

"(You're confusing me with Headbanger.)" said Roach looking Daddy right in the eyes. Daddy was now struggling to get free but he was only kept there because the guards found this entertaining. He had to think for a moment until he remembered that Headbanger was what Anita called herself now.

"What? No, she's-" Daddy was about to stake his claim to her but Roach now feeling too brave for his own good finished the sentence.

"(Do you really want to know what I did to your daughter?)" said Roach coolly. Daddy's face was a mixture of horror and rage. Roach took a few steps back but still kept hid demeanor.

"Do you really wanna know what I did to your daughters, and wife, and sister, and sons?" said Messenger. There was a mixture of laughter and horror from the crowd that had gathered and Messenger was beckoned back to Eloise. Roach continued to verbally duke it out with Daddy until his father dragged him away towards his family. After that he was lectured by his father and mother and forced to stay put but that didn't stop Boss from coming over to him.

"Now that was something to remember." Said Boss simply. Morgan looked at Boss with curiosity.

"I can feel when I'm being stared at little…person." Said Boss Reaching in front of him. Morgan's parents tried to pull him back but he just slinked out of his coat. Roach motioned for him to go back but Morgan would have none of that.

"I'm Morgan." Said Morgan as he stood in front of Boss, Boss was a bit taken back but held his hand out. Morgan shook his hand not entirely wanting to touch Boss.

"Frederick." Said Boss deciding to use his real name because Morgan was an outsider. Boss didn't know that Morgan was Roach's brother and Roach wanted to keep it that way.

"Do you have eyes?" said Morgan. He knew that what happened to his brother also happened to others and in different ways. Boss lifted up his sun glasses to answer Morgan's question and Morgan felt physically sick. Roach looked away.

"That's disgusting… can you do it again." Said Morgan who didn't know if this was the coolest thing he had ever seen or the most disgusting. Boss chuckled and patted Morgan's head as best as he could.

"Cockroach, I think I've made a friend." Said Boss as he began to walk away towards where he thought that Scribe was. He needed to ask Scribe what he should do about Morgan. Outsiders always talked to him but it was never conversation, just things he absolutely needed to know. Morgan on the other hand seemed to have wanted to talk more to Boss even if it was just about the fact that his eyes were cut out for seeing evil. It was a little known fact about Boss; he had a soft spot for children and babies. Not that he had met many of either in his lifetime.

"Where're you goin'?" asked Morgan as he began to follow Boss despite Roach's silent protests.

"This way now." Said Boss slowing down a bit so that Morgan could keep up. It was good to have friends on the outside after all.

"Why?" asked Morgan trying to get a good look at Boss. He was fascinated by the scars that he could see. They were worse than Roach's but Boss didn't seem self conscious about them at all. Maybe it was the fact that Boss was blind.

"I need to talk to Scribe." Said Boss knowing that he was being looked at. Morgan wanted to see if Boss still felt pain at the scar but thought against it. He knew from Roach that the people under the stairs didn't really like to be touched.

"Why?" asked Morgan again. Normally this would annoy Boss but he found Morgan's presence pleasant almost. Morgan was just very curious about boss and the rest of the people under the stairs.

"About you." Said Boss rubbing his temples. Now he was getting annoyed. He didn't like to be questioned about his comings and goings mainly because it was nobody's business but his own. At first Morgan was given leeway because he was a child and Boss found him more pleasant than his usual company but now that had changed. He was having what the people under the stairs referred to as a Daddy moment. They tried not to have those to distance themselves from their mutual father but they also tried a lot of things.

"What about me?" asked Morgan as they walked into Scribe. Boss fell on top of him. He knew where Scribe was but actual distance was lost on him. Morgan helped Boss up and was taken back at just how light Boss was.

"You're a horrible person walker, child." Said Scribe as he collected the contents of his Messenger bag which had spilled all over the floor. Morgan picked up a piece of paper from next to his shoe and read.

'_Liberation day 3:_

_I am in a hospital. It is nice. Lots of food. Lice are gone. Brothers and sisters nowhere to be found. That is nice. Bed is clean. Doctor is nice. Skin no longer itchy. Lots of sunlight. Windows do not open. Walking unadvisable. Nothing else to say about day three._

_-Scribe'_

Scribe ripped the paper away from Morgan giving Morgan a shallow paper cut.

"Terribly sorry." Said Scribe taking a tissue from his coat pocket and dabbing Morgan cut with it. Morgan didn't want Scribe to touch him and Scribe could see that. Scribe would have let Morgan go but he felt a responsibility to Morgan because it was he that hurt him.

"What happened? I smell blood." Said Boss with his hands out in front of him hoping to find either Scribe or Morgan. Scribe rolled his eyes.

"You can't smell blood, Frederick. Blood has no smell." Said Scribe matter of factly. Morgan bit his lower lip as Scribe put some antiseptic on it. Morgan swatted him away and Scribe stuck out his tongue.

"Why do you carry that with you? Do you just, like, wait for someone to get hurt just so you can pour that on them?" asked Morgan who was never the biggest fan of any kind of medicine. Scribe smiled a bit. He could see why his brother didn't immediately tell Morgan to go away, he was pleasant by their standards.

"It keeps the infection away." Said Scribe pulling up his sleeve to show Morgan the result of an untreated infection. Morgan blanched and Scribe rolled his sleeve down.

"Scribe, I've never seen that and even I know that it's unpleasant. Don't torture the child like that, he's done nothing to deserve it." Said Boss. Morgan nodded in agreement. Scribe sighed remembering Boss 'Everybody's done something to deserve this even if they don't know it' speech.

"I'm just giving this child an answer to his question. I know that's not a crime. Spitting on someone is though." Said Scribe reciting one of their stranger laws. That law had been enacted by Bites after one too many spitting contests.

"Spitting?" asked Morgan rubbing his cut. Boss was about to tell him but Scribe beat him to it.

"Don't ask! Please for the love of all things good in this world don't ask!" said Scribe throwing his bag to the floor. That was a day that everyone was happy to forget. Boss shuddered. Morgan looked at them both like they were crazy; they were.

"So many rats." Muttered Boss as he sat down and curled into the fetal position. Scribe went to comfort him and Morgan took that as a signal to leave. He walked through the surprisingly large room to his family. They told him not to leave again and for once in his short life he decided to listen. Roach was nowhere to be found but they weren't worried. He always came back and had a surprisingly good sense of direction. Besides, they didn't want to get any closer to the people under the stairs than necessary so they figured that Roach had a very good reason for wanting to be around them.

"Not want Miracle be here." Said Messenger as he began to bounce his daughter up and down on his knee. Miracle cooed and sucked on her pacifier.

"(Why?)" asked Roach as he shook a brightly colored rattle in front of her. Headbanger was off to look for Boss and ask him what exactly Miracle was. They weren't sure if she was a person under the stairs due to her parentage or an outsider due to her place of birth. She also knew that she had to get back on good terms with him for bearing Messenger's child and brining her to term which she wasn't sure if Boss would consider a bad thing.

"This not place her for." Said Messenger. He was becoming less and less intelligible the more emotional he got but he was still better to understand than he was when they were in the cellar. Roach rubbed his back as a show of comfort, Messenger was now much cleaner and more pleasant to touch. Messenger was grateful for the platonic comfort from someone he had come to think of as his brother. Spiritually his bother at least.. Eloise looked on wearily and Roach glared at her. When Roach wanted to glare he could give a glare that could even make Daddy uncomfortable. She looked away and towards the other people under the stairs. They were spinning one of their blind members around and then making him chase them. Messenger looked on to them and then at his daughter and sighed. He missed them dearly even though he was with them but he dind't want Miracle to be near them or a part of them. That didn't stop him from loving his brothers though.

"Eloise say this gonna take while. That not short time." Said Messenger rubbing Miracle's head as she continued to sit there not understanding anything.

"(Why do you like her so much?)" asked Roach not understanding why Messenger of all people had no grudge against her. Messenger had spent his entire life up to that point in the cellar being tortured and enslaved so logic would dictate that Messenger would hate Eloise the most but he didn't. Roach didn't like her even though Messenger did. He feared for the day that it would click in his mind that if she had gone to the police the entire thing could have been averted. He stuck his finger in his mouth to feel the damage done to his tongue and Messenger slapped it out.

"You gonna be sick and then you gonna go to the hospital and that gonna cost a lot of money." Said Messenger. He was starting to under things about the outside world; mainly that money made it go round. Roach rolled his eyes.

"(It's my mouth and I can do what I want with it.)" Said Roach crossing his arms like an indignant child. Messenger handed him Miracle's extra pacifier and Roach got the message that he was being called a baby.

"Like her 'cause she good me to and Carolina too very nice goodly nice." Said Messenger nodding with himself in agreement. Roach cocked an eyebrow. He got the jist of what Messenger was saying barely but that didn't completely answer his question. He decided not to press the matter further because he could see that his question had upset Messenger just a bit and Messenger didn't deal well with being upset. Roach put some more thought into it and decided to leave Messenger to his happiness.

"Not on mine bed no mores." Said Messenger putting Miracle in her stroller and looking Roach in the eye. Messenger was scary when he was serious and this was something that he was serious about. This was even more serious than the time Roach had given Miracle a pacifier that had fallen on the floor and not been boiled to kill the germs.

"Huh?" asked Roach. He was sure that Messenger was talking to him but he didn't know what about. Messenger could see took a deep breath. He didn't even know why this made him angry but it did.

"Headbanger like my wife sorta kinda maybe and you not do that to man's wife on theys bed. It not right." Said Messenger nodding his head no as if to agree with himself. Realization dawned on Roach and he blushed and looked around. He motioned for Messenger to keep his voice down incase anyone could hear them.

"(I'm sorry, I won't do things on your bed with your almost wife anymore.)" said Roach in a hushed voice momentarily forgetting than the only person who he knew could understand him and he didn't want knowing about his little rendezvous with Headbanger was Alice and she was over with her family.

"I not know why so mad 'bout this. This is mad making." Said Messenger balling his fists into his coat. Roach knew that Messenger was too small to do any real damage but that didn't stop him from being afraid. He also didn't want to fight anybody so small and frail. It was almost like fighting Alice if Alice was four and a half feet tall, a red head, and a twenty six year old almost man.

"(Maybe you think of her as yours and you don't want other people touching your stuff?)" asked Roach trying to calm Messenger down. It worked and Messenger began to think about that in those terms.

"Gots a point you gots." Said Messenger. They both turned around when they heard Mommy yelling loudly at Alice. Roach ran to the scene while Messenger hobbled as best as he could before leaving Miracle with Eloise. What they saw shocked them beyond belief.


	6. The trial part 1

Disclaimer: See chapter 1

Alice wasn't happy. This wasn't strange for her though, she had been upset the moment she saw Mommy and Daddy but now she had reached her breaking point. They were standing before her like they had so many times before but now she wasn't afraid anymore. They looked older and much weaker. They looked like she herself did not so long ago after Daddy had one of his headaches. Even their eyes looked old and defeated. She balled her fists into her dress to keep from lashing out at them but she was failing. Roach looked at her and motioned for her to come away from them but she stood her ground. She had no reason not to; they were old, weak, and in chains. She screamed.

"Alice! What's wrong? Talk to me honey!" said her real mother holding her close. Alice didn't want to be touched; she wanted blood. She wanted the Robeson's to feel every single pain that she had felt in her short life. She wanted them to have twelve years of suffering. Roach attempted to come to her but was stopped when a shorter person with sun glasses and a pot on his head stopped him.

"I'll allow this, it seems entertaining. You will stay put Cockroach." Said Boss. He had heard her screaming and walked over to find out what was the matter. He then realized that he recognized her voice and that it was a scream of rage not pain. He decided to allow this purely for the fact that he wanted to see his parents put in their place by someone even lower than him; and outsider and a girl.

"(Permission to stop this? They'll hurt her!)" said Roach who knew that the Robeson's were handcuffed and chained but was still worried for her. He continued to motion for her to come over but she was ignoring him. He knew that he would be punished for disobeying Boss and he was torn between his own well being and Alice's safety. He calmed down when her father went to her; he knew that he would protect her.

"Permission denied, I want to see how this turns out. She won't be hurt; they're chained up. I swear you think with your dick more than your brain sometimes. Might have something to do with your age." Said Boss sitting down and making himself comfortable. He pulled Roach down to his level but Roach still stood. Boss decided that he would punish him for his defiance later but first he wanted to see just how his parents would take defiance from Alice.

"I hate you! I hate everything about you! Go to hell! I wish you would just drop dead! You stole my life from me! Made me live in fear! Hurt me! Hurt Roach! You took me from my family when I was only a baby and kept me locked away!" Alice was seething. She began to scream and tear at her dress and hair; it scared Roach. It made the other people under the stairs laugh to themselves. As she yelled she jumped up and down and tore at her dress; she truly looked like on e of them.

"Burn in hell you ungrateful whore! I gave you everything and what did you do? You defied me! You betrayed me! You're just a whore to the thing between the walls!" yelled Mommy being held back by the guards. Roach began to open and close his mouth in an attempt to find words. He found none and began to knot his hands together in an effort to control himself. He knew from his father hitting Daddy that he would get in trouble for striking Mommy no matter what the circumstances.

"You always said to never lie mother." Said Scribe watching the scene with interest. He sat nonchalantly cross legged on the floor; his head resting on Singer's shoulder. He played with her short black hair as he spoke; a sign of disrespect to the people under the stairs because whether or not they admitted it Mommy and Daddy were both figuratively and literally above them.

"What?" asked Mommy turning toward Scribe. He looked familiar but she couldn't place him. Her children had all changed so much but she could tell which ones were hers and which ones were saved from the evil, sinful outside world.

"You would always put a hot spoon in the mouths of those who lied so perhaps the same should be done to you. It would be a shame though; I remember the truly amazing things that you could to with that tongue of yours. Pity our dear Eldon remedied that on my part. Oh well." Said Scribe still playing with Singer's hair. Mommy began to sputter and try to brake free. Daddy did the same, nobody insulted the woman he loved. Scribe yawned an exaggerated yawn and closed his eyes. This earned a laugh from the people under the stairs.

"I should have killed all of you when I had the chance! You're all sinners! You should all have burned in hell!" said Daddy trying to defend Mommy. He was going to be a good man for her and defend her. He never hated all of them more than at that moment. Messenger though entertained was finding this experience trying. Not for himself but for his child; he loved her enough to know what was good and what was bad for her. He knew just by seeing the last dyeing remnants of the world she was almost born into wasn't good for her in the long run; even if he wasn't sure if she would even remember it.

"That not what you say last time; or you not 'member it. Messenger not sure how could forget somethin' like that." Said Messenger. This got everybody's attention for Messenger rarely spoke out against those above him. Alice at this point was running out of steam and felt a familiar feel sinking in. Headbanger felt bad for her as she saw Alice begin to shake. She was about to go to her but Roach walked over and held her. She didn't bury herself into him as she usually would; she tried to hold firm.

"What in the hell are you talking about you piece of animal shit?" said Daddy hoping that Messenger wasn't talking about any of his quickies that he had with them. As Daddy looked at Messenger more realization dawned on him and he was overcome with the urge to kill him. He was held back but not removed by the guards because they too were interested as to the turn out and also they wanted some sort of karma to them.

"You're like Scribe only you; you have a cock but you just can't use it." Said Headbanger rocking a fussy Miracle in her arms. She covered her baby's ears as she said this in an attempt to keep Miracle from hearing any more evil. Roach covered Alice's ears put she pushed his hands away; she wasn't going to be the good girl at that moment. She was going to be Allie not Alice because Alice wanted to cry and be held by Roach. Alice also remembered the things; the wonderful, pleasurable things, that had transpired between the two of them on her bed. She couldn't help but drink in the scent of his soap and cologne. He smelled a lot like that day and that pushed her over to being Allie. She got her steam back and tried to organize her thoughts.

"(Don't tell that story! That's not a good story for anybody to hear, not even Messenger himself.)" said Roach knowing exactly what Messenger was going to say. It was the story of how he had lost his teeth and gotten the long cut from his right shoulder blade to his left hip. It was also the story of why Mommy and Daddy had started kidnapping children. Roach tried not to think about it because when he did he felt like blaming Messenger for his entire terrible life.

"Messenger gonna tell it Messenger's story tell. Cockroach try protect Good Girl but no work forever." Said Messenger crossing his arms. Daddy was seething mad and Mommy was confused as to what he was referring to. She didn't recognize him at all but she knew that by looking at his hair color and facial features he was related to her. She knew that they produced children but she didn't know that any of the children lived past infancy.

"Don't you say anything? Speak no evil! You hear me? Speak! No! Evil!" said Daddy crying now. This was something that he had never even told his wife. He hated the person who he assumed was named Messenger. He hated him with all the hate in his body.

"Well this before Cockroach, Good Girl, even before stair master but not too far before. I little, 'bout Morgan brother of Cockroach age and real little. Anyways, Daddy he take me from cellar and give food to Messenger. Was good food. Then he take Messenger to bid red bed and not fuck Messenger, have Messenger fuck him. Not I about…I not remember but was smaller than now. Even smaller than Rateye's and he…well should not say that. I big now, ask Headbanger." Said Messenger going off on a tangent. All of the non stair people were looked on with morbid interest. Roach covered Alice's ears and his parents could only stare at nothing in particular. Dot was asking what any of what he was saying meant but received no answer. Daddy looked like he was going to have a heart attack at any moment.

"Keep going." Said Mommy with a dangerous edge on her voice. This made all of them have a twinge of fear even though they knew that she was in chains. That was the voice she used before administrating the worst punishments and cutting out bad parts. Messenger held no fear for her because he had almost no experience for her. When he looked at her he saw an old woman who looked like him and nothing more. When they looked at her they saw the stuff of nightmares personified.

"Well afterwards Daddy he say, he say suck my dick and I say no pay Messenger first. This piss Daddy off real, real, real bad and he grab Messenger hair and make me choke on it. Nobody make me, not even my husband who dead now. Messenger miss him sometimes but what Messenger do? Any how I bite down real, real hard and there lots and lots, and lots of blood. Well now Daddy crazy. He hit in mouth lots times and teeth all come out. Not matter, they rotten then any ways and some of them was baby teeth. Well he hurt Messenger with sharp thing too and that how I get long scar. The end." Said Messenger taking a little bow. The people under the stairs started laughing and then return to what they were doing sure that the excitement was done. Alice was back to being steaming angry and didn't know what to do.

"Burn in hell! All of you! Burn! In! Hell!" said Mommy angry at everybody. Daddy had reached the breaking point of his anger and was removed by the guards. Roach felt like there was now nothing to fear and loosened his grip on Alice this proved to be a huge mistake.

"Burn in hell for what? Huh? Why should I burn in hell? What did I do that was so wrong? Should I burn in hell for this?" said Alice. What happened next was pure impulse. She turned around and kissed Roach full on the mouth. This got everybody's attention. The parents looked stunned and the people under the stairs started a betting pool as to if Roach was still a virgin. Fool was pulled between his dislike of Roach and his lingering romantic feelings for Alice. Roach was just stunned.

"You whore!" said Mommy but Alice wasn't listening. She had acted on complete impulse and she still was. She worked her tongue into Roach's mouth and her hands through his hair. He pressed himself into her hard with want. He wanted her more than ever; even more than when they were on her bed. He wanted her more because this wasn't only pleasure and love for Alice, it was also revenge against Mommy. He dipped his head down her neck and began to suck. She moaned with anticipation and pulled him up to kiss again. Both of their parents suddenly decided that the floor was extremely interesting and focused on that. Neither of them wanted to even acknowledge what was happening. They were torn between wanting their children to be happy and not wanting grandchildren.

"What was bad about that? Huh? Roach liked it and I liked it! Not everything is a sin and not everyone is evil! The only evil people here are you!" said Alice stomping her feet. Roach was blushing a deep, deep red. He looked around in embarrassment and then looked down at his black dress shoes. Alice on the other hand was still seething and completely unaware of the attention that she was bringing on herself.

"I'm blind! Cockroach, you blinded me!" said Boss before Mommy could reply. This got a laugh from all of the people under the stairs and momentarily brought Alice back to reality. She looked around and then at her shoes.

"And that's…all I have to say about that." Said Alice before running behind her mother's skirt. Everybody who was one of the people under the stairs just stood in awkward silence while Mommy was escorted out as she struggled to hurt Alice. She wanted to hurt Alice with every fiber of her being.

"You're not my daughter! You hear me? Your! Not! My! Daughter!" shouted Mommy as she was lead away.

"I never was." Said Alice quietly as she regained her senses. She looked like a scared child as she stood behind her mother. She looked for Roach but Roach had already gone to his family. She felt alone, very alone. Soon after everyone was herded into the court room.

The courtroom was crowded with people. This was just a hearing about the crimes that they had committed; the sentencing would come much later. The people under the stairs all sat to one section and looked around at everything with interest an the tiniest bit of fear. They had all worked hard at convincing the white coats that they would be good but now they longed for their old home in the cellar. At least then they knew who everybody was and what the future held.

"It crazy here, not like TV." Said Messenger as he sat with his new family. He looked over at his siblings and longed to be with them but he knew that he had to stay put; they had gone over it with him many times.

"Real life isn't like on TV. TV people are more perfect than this. TV baby aren't fussy neither." Said Headbanger as she bounced Miracle up and down. Messenger ran his finger through Miracle's soft red and at once felt content. He would do this for her; his daughter.

"Are they gonna give 'em the chair?" asked Morgan as soon as they sat down. He looked around at everything and wondered why it was so different from TV. His mother promptly shushed him.

"I hope I brought enough tapes." Muttered Donna as she rummaged through her large tote bag. She was told to bring tapes of that she had made of Roach during his time at home and she had done so. She had also brought some of the 16mm film of their childhoods and hoped that they court had a projector.

"I'm hungry. I'm tired. I'm running out of thing to complain about. Why are we all even here if this is just for David Jr.?" Whined Dot. She was bored and wanted to be at home. She knew that this was for her brother but she didn't see why they all had to be there.

"Dot this isn't just for David Jr. this is for Alice and all of those people over there so please just be quiet." Said Amanda as she reached over to comfort her oldest son. Roach pushed her arm away with his shoulder; he didn't want to touched right the. He had just been through seeing them all again and being kissed by Alice in full view of everyone with eyes. He liked the kissing part but not the lack of privacy. He also felt conflicted about seeing them all again but he knew that he had to focus on the task at hand and try and get through the first part of the trial.

"Mama, when we gonna go?" asked Fool as he sat down. He didn't want to be there. He didn't want to be near the Robeson's, the people under the stairs, or Roach. He just wanted to go home and forget he had ever agreed to go with Leroy. He pushed that thought out of his head quickly; he knew what that would have meant for Roach, Alice, and the rest of the people under the stairs.

"Fool you stop that. Listen, we gonna stay here and do what we gotta do. This is your doin' anyway but it's a good thing you did. You saved me an all those people over there now you think about that." And with that Fool knew that the conversation was over. He was conflicted and scared and just a tad bit disgusted to see Roach but at the same time he was proud that he could help so many people. Everyone was silent as the judge entered.

"I apologize everyone for my lateness now bailiff read the charges." Said the judge getting more and more amazed and bored at the same time. He could see that the children in the court room shared his sentiments.

"The charges are as follows; felony child abuse, felony child endangerment, felony child abuse, felony sexual abuse, imprisonment, kidnapping, cannibalism, sexual trafficking, tax evasion, animal cruelty, animal sexual abuse, resisting arrest, operating a military grade firearm, operating unregistered guns, purchasing stolen property, selling stolen property, incest, medical neglect,..my word this is a long list…" said the bailiff as everyone stared.

"Please continue." Said the judge rubbing his temples with his thumb and index finger and sighing. This was going to be a very long day, he could just tell. He knew that they weren't being tried for everything at once but he wanted to impose the sheer magnitude of everything on the Robeson's.

"Assault, bribery, smuggling, unpaid parking tickets, illegal destruction of a corpse, and jaywalking."

"This is gonna be a long night." Said the Judge

Sorry for the lack of updates please review.


	7. The Trial Part 2

Disclaimer: see chapter one.

A/N: I'm back! I didn't think that anyone was still interested but thanks to the anonymous reviewer known only as Danny I have found the will to carry on with this once dead fic starring everyone's favorite stair person and all around nice guy, David Cullen AKA The Thing Between the Walls, AKA Roach.

"These things are always more interesting on TV." Said Trysta as she fought to keep her eyes opened. The people who took her brother hadn't even had the chance to talk yet. The only people talking were some fancy lawyer and doctor trying to say that the Robeson's are crazy and couldn't be held responsible for their actions. Like anyone was going to buy that.

"Shh." Said Roach putting his finger to his lips. He didn't want to be there and he certainly didn't want his family there. He didn't want them to know what he had been. He just wanted to Robeson's to be put in some kind of horrible jail worse than what he went through if such a thing existed.

"Kids, shut it." Muttered David Sr. as he tried to follow what was going on. He found himself lost in the fancy medical jargon traded by the lawyer and psychologist. His eyes wandered around the room to the people under the stairs. His son's…conrads…possibly friends. They sat perfectly still for the most part although a few seemed to have some sort of shaking disorder. His son could hve been one of them. His son was one of them. David Jr. could have died.

"I call to the stand Elmira Robeson." Said the lawyer representing the Robeson's. They had hired some slick high priced fast talking lawyer but nobody showed any sign of lenience. The Robeson's on the other had felt some sort of suicidal confidence that had caused them to decline any sort of deal and make a public spectacle of themselves.

"Fuck you." Muttered Roach under his breath as he watched Mommy take the stand. She was trying to be the perfect wife and mother but was failing. Hatred coursed through Roach's veins. Alice turned to look at him. Their families had sat together but Dot was between Roach and Alice thanks to that little display they put on. It didn't stop Alice from reaching across Dot and holding Roach's hand.

"Now do you deny what the court is accusing you of?" asked her lawyer. He knew that calling them both insane and making sure that Elmira Robeson was cast as a victim of her domineering husband was the best defense. The evidence, after all, was sitting in front of the courtroom.

"No." said Elmira earning some chatter from the court. Several of the people under the stairs muttered very graphic threats of death and torture until Boss raised his hand in silence. He was trying his best to listen to this and they weren't helping.

"And why is that?" asked the lawyer. Roach was gripping Alice hand tight within his own. She wasn't even deny it and this somehow felt worse than if she had. Dot let Roach sit closer to Alice and made Trysta scoot over. Nobody noticed; her parents were as mad as he brother.

"Every now and then a good mother had to discipline her children." Said Elmira in a sweet voice. It was as if her voice was twisting the key that wound up the room. Everyone that was there from family of the kidnapped and deceased to the jurors looked like they wanted to make her suffer.

"And you don't think that you were being a bit…excessive?" asked the lawyer. The room was so quite the only thing that could be heard was the labored breathing of a few of the people under the stairs. Alice felt a rage not unlike that one that overtook her earlier coming on and gripped Roach's hand as tightly as he was gripping hers. Something about the feel of his hand in hers, his body next to hers, the smell of his cologne ebbed her anger and all she could think about was what they shared earlier. Even if it was just a big fuck you to Mommy it was something between her and him. Something primal; something akin to playing with a fire she was nowhere near ready for but also sort of was.

"I tried to help them." Said Elmira her voice taking on a cold edge the people under the stairs had heard many times before. Messenger pulled Headbanger and Miracle close to him. He wasn't afraid of Mommy but Headbanger was and if Headbanger was afraid of Mommy then she must have still been a threat. He had to protect his family.

"How?" asked the lawyer. Eloise didn't know where he was going with this. If anything he was just making Mommy look worse. A life inside of an insane asylum was worse than a life in prison in many ways. Yes, he was going for an insanity plea. This case was unwinnable since it had gone t jury. They should have just taken a deal or only gone before a judge. Well, everyone said they were crazy nobody said they were geniuses.

"I tried and I tried to discipline them but they were just so bad that Eldon made me cut the bad parts out. It didn't make them any better so we locked them up and let them have some sort of life. I tried to save them through discipline but Eldon always found something wrong with them."

"So it was Eldon that mutilated these people, you're children and theirs? You were only trying to help them through discipline?" asked the lawyer playing it up to the jury. Roach wished that he had some sort of weapon on him. He'd put her out of everyone's misery. Especially Alice's.

"Yes." Said Mommy breaking out into tears. If Roach didn't know better he'd say that she was actually crying but that was something that human beings did. Amanda Cullen felt her pulse in her ears and she saw red. This inhuman monster was defending ruining her son's life. Killing and mutilating all of those people. Something inside of Amanda Cullen snapped when she said that. Before she even knew what she was doing she was standing up and everyone's attention was on her.

"You were not and my son's mother and what you did was not discipline! You are a monster!" yelled Amanda she was ready to go up to Elmira and give her hell but was held back by her husband and children. To her astonishment she heard clapping and someone remarking that she must have been cockroach's mother. She'd have to have a talk with her son about answering to the name cockroach.

"Order! Order!" called the judge as pandemonium broke out in the courtroom. Amanda Cullen was the spark that set off the powder keg that was this court room. The next few minutes were a crazy blur for anyone that was there. The people under the stairs mobbed Mommy and Daddy. Roach tried to join them but was held back by Alice. Messenger and his family were ushered out of the room as quickly as possible to protect baby Miracle.

"I should've killed you all when I had the chance!" yelled Mommy as the people under the stairs were held back. They didn't stop struggling until Boss shook his head 'no'.After what seemed like forever everyone was calmed down and the people under the stairs were taken back to North Mercy. Nobody could fault them for acting as they did. The trial would be picked up at a later date after both lawyers requested a brief recess. Roach didn't look at his fellow people under the stairs as they were led away. Why were they bothering with this trial? If this was the cellar the Robeson's would have been killed by now. He shook his head, he wasn't there anymore.

"Roach…" said Alice quietly. He turned to face her and she looked at him with a mixture of fear, love, and co fusion. He felt ashamed of himself for wanting to join them. He was back on the outside where he belonged and he was going to have to act like them. He scared Alice. He hated himself for that. He gave her a quick kiss. He felt more and more comfortable doing that. Maybe she returned his feelings. He tried to stop himself from thinking about that day. This was not the time to be hard, especially not in public in front of all these people.

"Time to go." Said Mary-Anne motioning for Alice to follow her. She had thought of them as just friends until now and she was almost happy that they were together. The thought of Alice being a normal teenage girl with a boyfriend almost made Mary-Ann forget the inflammatory remarks Elmira made earlier. Almost. She was however thankful that Amanda spoke up before her. She would have just started cursing and thrown her heels.

"Us too, David Jr." said David Sr. Roach nodded and let go of Alice's hand. There were a million and one things he wanted to talk to his son about but he just didn't have the energy. He just wanted to be able to go home and sleep a little. The family loaded themselves into the station wagon and hit the road home. It was a silent ride broken only by the radio that no one was listening too. Even Morgan, Trysta, and Dot were silent as they sat crammed together. Somehow seeing the people under the stairs in person, being around them, made everything all the more real for them. They knew that their brother had gone through some horrible stuff but seeing the others and hearing that awful woman talk had done something to them. Maybe they were growing up.

"End of the line." Said Amanda attempting to be jovial. The kids gave her small smile and then went into the house. She started on a simple dinner of spaghetti and meat sauce from the jar. David Sr. went to his garage to have some time alone to think as his kids went their separate ways. He thought that getting Amanda pregnant at fifteen was going to be the low point of his life…man was he wrong. He reached under his workbench and pulled out a small warn photo album. He flipped open to David's ultrasound photo and just stared at it. He then flipped to the end to a photo of his son on a hospital bed looking like he had been to hell and back. From a five year old in the tub playing with the bubbles to a fifteen eyar old in the ICU. There would be justice for his son. This he swore.


	8. Amazing

Disclaimer: I own nothing!

"Rummy!" said Dot slapping her cards on the table. Everyone gave her a long suffering look. She didn't care; gin rummy was a great game.

"First of all its gin. You're supposed to say gin and not rummy." Said Trysta before taking a sip of her chocolate milk. Why, oh why, did they play cards? Every time they played cards it ended badly. Almost as badly as the great Monopoly incident of 1989.

"No, David Jr. says rummy." Said Dot defiantly. Morgan rolled his eyes…the last day of the weekend and the power went out. No TV, no videogames, and it was too late to go outside and play. They were playing through their board games and realized that there were very few games for five people. Except for Monopoly…never again.

"David Jr. can't talk right. No offense." Said Trysta after Donna gave her a hard look. What? It was true and David Jr. made self-depreciating jokes all the time. it wasn't like it was some bug family secret like the unpaid bills in the front closet hatbox.

"_None taken, and it is rummy."_ Scrawled out Roach. It had been a few weeks since the beginning of the trial. Apparently these things weren't like on TV where they met once, argued for a while, and then pronounced a sentence.

"See, he agrees!" said Dot. Standing on the rickety chair. Donna rolled her eyes and Trysta was getting madder and madder.

"SECONDLY! We're playing old maid." Said Trysta. Dot looked very embarrassed and then sat down silently.

"I wanna play rummy." Said Dot. Morgan decided to stay out of this fight. He had been…different…since meeting the people under the stairs. He had been thinking more and more. Grown up thoughts like how the bad guys didn't always get theirs immediately or at all. And how bad things happened to good people, even five year olds out at the park.

"We're playing old maid." Said Trysta. Dot stuck her tongue out at Trysta and Trysta did the same. Roach could see the potential for a fight and tried to defuse it.

"_Let's go out and look for fireflies."_ Wrote Roach. Donna read it aloud and shook her head. It was October, almost Halloween even, the fireflies were long gone. Sumer was gone. It felt like a million years ago, the beginning of summer before all this happened.

"Yeah! Fireflies!" said Dot excitedly. As she got up in happiness the lights turned on above them. The Cullen children looked at each other.

"That was pretty cool." Said Morgan. Everyone nodded in agreement. Dot held her triumphant pose standing on the chair with her arms above her head.

"I'm scared to sit down." Said Dot. Roach held the chair for stability. He knew that Dot didn't really have control of the lights but if believing this would make her feel good then by all means believe away.

"See! I did too pay the bill!" said David Sr. from the living room. He and Amanda had been reading in compatible silence after fighting over unpaid bills. He knew that he had paid the electric bill…it was the water that was on its second notice. That and the unpaid overdue videotape. Honestly! Those people were worse extortionists than the library...which he couldn't go to until he paid them their money as well.

"Fine, you win." Said Amanda putting her book mark in. That didn't change the unpaid bills in the hatbox in the front closet that she wasn't supposed to know about. This was why she had started working again. With four children they were just scarping by but now that there were five…no! David Jr. was back and that was all that mattered.

"Damn straight." Said David Sr. also putting his bookmark in. He knew that even with the unsolicited donations they were getting the financial situation wasn't that great. Amanda getting a job was testament to that. She had gone to a two year college years ago after David was kidnapped but before the thought of Dot crossed their minds but had never done anything with it. The kids had kept coming and then the economy was better but now she was working in some kind of an old folks home as a nurse.

"What are they up too?" said Amanda as she walked into the kitchen. She found Dot frozen in a triumphant pose on a kitchen chair with David Jr. keeping her stable. Her other children were debating the ability of fireflies to survive in the fall.

"It's way too cold for fireflies. Maybe in early October but not this late. It's almost Halloween after all." Said Amanda good naturedly while taking in the mess on the table.

"Told you so." Said Donna childishly. Roach gave her a look and Trysta stuck out her tongue. Amanda sighed.

"So, we're quit our game of fifty two pick up and are now onto charades?" said Amanda looking Dot up and down. She certainly made a sight looking so triumphant in her Garfield pajamas.

"She thinks she made the lights turn on." Said Morgan helpfully. They all nodded in agreement, even Dot.

"Well that's just crazy talk, everyone knows dad keeps the lights on!" said David Sr. picking up Dot and flipping her in the air. Dot squealed in delight, she hoped she never got too big for this. Roach watched nostalgically, he used to be that size. A long time ago back when the world was good and made sense. Before he was Roach.

"And mom contributes." Said Amanda playfully. She began to gather the cards and the kids helped her. they looked relieved, they hated it when their parents fought. They were young but knew that the family was having money troubles, especially if mom was working again. Sure she had takne part time jobs occasionally in the past at places like the corner store but now she was getting up every morning and coming home at dinner time. It was weird having Donna cook them dinner and pick them up for school but they got used to it.

"And you kids can contribute by going to bed." Said David Sr. still holding Dot. Morgan gave him a sour look and Trysta simply crossed her arms.

"How's that contributing?" asked Trysta. Roach nodded in agreement, they weren't being paid to sleep. Dot was trying to squirm out of her father's grip. She didn't want to go to bed it was only eleven o'clock. She didn't have to get up for school until eight.

"Because if you go to bed then we can go to bed and we won't be tired in the morning. If we aren't tired we can bring home the bacon." Said David Sr. walking through the kitchen towards the living room. The kids followed grudgingly.

"Can we have ham-steak instead of bacon from now on?" asked Dot her eyelids suddenly feeling heavy. Her siblings with the exception of Roach mimed vomiting. Bacon was way better than gross old ham-steak.

"Gross." Said Trysta as they began climbing the stairs. Roach shook his head in frustration. He still didn't understand people not liking perfectly good food. It wasn't like they were being asked to eat rats…or people.

"We'll see." Said Amanda bringing up the rear. Morgan looked like he was going to try and escape. Sunday nights were the worst, they were stuck in weekend sleep patterns. Except for David Jr., he has his own strange sleep patterns. According to Alice it came from living in the walls and sleeping during the day so he could protect her at night. Or visa-versa depending on Eldon Robeson's mood.

"But I'm not tired." Said Dot as she was put into her bed. She was in her own bed, formerly Donna's after the old shelter had been gutted. There was room enough for the three of them and not much else. Another change that had happened was Morgan was now living with David. His 'bedroom' had always been a small nursery with David's room being preserved as a shrine. Now that he was back Morgan was bunking with him. It didn't go well but now the nursery was also being used as a storage room for things like winter clothes and various other things.

"Me neither." Said Trysta as she climbed into the top bunk. She took out her headband and dropped it onto the nightstand that formerly held her toad the late Ulysses who now made his home in a shoebox coffin in the backyard.

"I am." Said Donna as she slid into the bottom bunk. She missed having her own room but it was nice not to be in the semi-finished basement with the constant hum of machinery and the pitter patter of the families feet.

"Goodnight, sleep tight, don't let the bed bugs reproduce." Said Amanda as she turned the light out. If questioned Donna would make a big fuss but she secretly liked being treated like a kid every once and a while.

"Goodnight boys, don't kill each other." Said David Sr. as he left his sons' room. He knew that if he wanted the boys, mostly Morgan, to get along with each other. Besides, Morgan's room was way too small and it was unhealthy to keep David Jr.'s room a shrine even after he had been found. He went to his own room and joined his wife in bed. Soon the snores of his children filled the house.

Alice was wide awake. She missed Roach so much. She loved him so much. They weren't as much time with each other as before. Today she had spent quality time with her family and couldn't see Roach. During the week she had special school every other day. Debbie said that she was lucky having school with a teacher at home on her own every other day but she just wanted to see Roach. She wanted to talk to him about…that. What had happened. She was ready now. She knew that she was being bad but now she was questioning it…the Robeson's were bad people. Therefore what they said was good was bad and what they said was bad was good. Or something. She laid in her bed contemplating everything from her life to the world. She wanted to see Roach. She wanted to be with him, to talk to him, to kiss him. Maybe she could see him. Hmm…she knew where he lived and she had braved danger to see him before.

"I'll do it." Said Alice. She had braved danger to see him at night before.

"_(Alice, are you crazy?!)" said Roach as he bolted up from his makeshift bed. He had been drifting off when he heard stirring down the wall hall. He had assumed that it was one of the stair people, most likely Messenger, but it was Alice._

"_I-I wanted to see you." Said Alice. Roach looked mad, he looked scary when he was mad. Roach knew full well he looked scary, this was suicidal what she was doing. He had warned her before. _

"_(You could have left a note in the vent.)" Said Roach. It took a moment for her to understand him, he hadn't been in the walls for very long. _

"_I wanted to see you now." Said Alice. Roach sat her down on his makeshift bed and then sat down next to her. He was close, they both knew it. His leg was touching hers, it felt warm even under her long white nightgown._

"_(Do you realize what could have happened to you?)" said Roach. How could she be so stupid!? She couldn't just throw her life away like that!_

"_Daddy's asleep." Said Alice defiantly. Roach put a finger to her lip. Alice felt her face heat up and her heart flutter. She didn't care how filthy he was, he was Roach. _

"_(Not just him, there are other things in these walls but me. The people under the stairs can leave too you know. I built some traps for them. Dangerous ones.)" said Roach his hand tracing her cheek and then her jaw line. He couldn't stay mad at her. He loved her._

"_O-Ok. I'm sorry. But what if it wasn't dangerous?" asked Alice. Roach smiled, his teeth looked less yellow so he must have brushed them recently. Come to think of it he smelled a lot better too._

"_(If we're ever in a place where it's safe then you can see me any time morning, noon, or night.)" said Roach as he led her back to her room carefully avoiding his traps. If Mommy or Daddy caught her out of bed this late she'd get it._

"_Goodnight." Said Alice softly as Roach tucked her into bed. He kissed his fingertips and put them to her lips. She felt…bad…but good too. She knew she had to keep this a secret._

Alice got dressed quietly and snuck out. Debbie did this all the time and she never got caught. Besides, tomorrow wasn't a school day anyway. She walked quickly down the cold and empty streets until she reached Roach's house. She flipped a creepy gnome and got the secret spare key out. She crept through his house until she reached his room. He was asleep on one end of the room and Morgan at the other. She noticed the clothes laid out for tomorrow and decided to hide in the closet until they all left. If she could sleep tied to the wall in the scary attic then she could sleep in Roach's safe closet. She curled up against the wall and went to bed.

"I don't wanna go to school today! I don't feel so good!" said Morgan loudly as Amanda woke him up. Donna had to leave earlier for high school and she had to leave for work. The task of walking them to school fell to David but the task of waking everyone fell to her.

"What's wrong?" said Amanda in a tone which said that she wasn't buying it. Morgan looked thoughtful for a while.

"I have smallpox!" said Morgan. Pox was the first thing which came to mind and he already had chicken pox.

"No you don't now get dressed and eat." Said Amanda. Morgan mentally kicked himself, he should have said food poisoning and then induced vomiting by mixing orange juice and milk together. He certainly wasn't going to induce illness by eating butterscotch again. He liked breathing and not being itchy thank you very much.

"I don't wanna go to school today!" shouted Dot so loud she could be heard down the hall. A bleary eyes bed headed Trysta stumbled down the hall to the bathroom.

"Why not?" said Amanda. Dot shrugged her little shoulders.

"I don't feel like it." Said Dot simply. Amanda picked her up and handed Dot her clothes for the day.

"Not a valid reason." Said Amanda. She went down stairs, set the breakfast out, and then went to work. Alice heard them eating and then leaving. When she didn't hear any more noise she emerged from the closet. She just walked around for a bit, it was eerie being in Roach's house when no one was there. She laid down in his bed and relaxed. She hadn't slept well in the closet and his bed was very comfortable, and it smelled like him. She felt herself drift off.

Roach got home after taking the kids to school. Sometimes he wondered what life would be like if the Robeson's had never taken him. He'd be at school with Donna probably. Would he even know Alice? Messenger? Definitely not Messenger. He'd take a shower and then maybe see Alice. He hadn't seen her in a while. He missed her so much. He almost missed how they used to be able to see each other every day but then he'd remember where they were and bite what was left of his tongue.

"(Definitely need a shower.)" said Roach. He liked being clean, back in the walls he could only bathe once a month if he was lucky. He ran the water lukewarm and just stood under it thinking. He…didn't know. It had felt sort of like a bliss period after he had been found but now he felt himself missing certain things. Alice being amongst them but also just knowing. Knowing who he was and what his place in this world was. He was Cockroach, The Thing Between the Walls. Now he was just David. David Mathias Cullen Jr., the boy without a tongue. He was a big brother too. And a little brother. He was a son. And maybe even a father someday. If Alice would have him that is. She could never know about Headbanger. That was a mistake. He would never make that mistake again. He got out and dried off. he put on the day clothes he was wearing and went to his room. Maybe he had something nicer to wear, he liked looking nice around Alice.

"(Oh my God.)" said Roach as he saw Alice asleep on his bed. Her long brown hair pooled around her as she lay down on his bed. Her dress had risen up to mid-thigh and one of her knee socks had ridden down to her ankle. He was mesmerized by the rise and fall of her chest. He reached down and ran her hand down her silken cheek.

"Roach?" said Alice softly as she woke up. Was she dreaming? She had lots of dreams like this.

"(Hey.)" said Roach softly. She sat up and he sat next to her. They were each aware of the other's presence. His hand reached out for her and she closed the space between them.

"(What are you doing here?)" said Roach. He wasn't complaining. He didn't even care, he just wanted to be with her. Suddenly he felt like her had just ran a mile in a minute. He was breathing deep and sweating. She was doing the same.

"I wanted to see you so I came over last night and I slept in the closet." Said Alice leaning against him. She wanted…something bad. Something that would make Mommy and Daddy kill her right there.

"Uh-huh." Said Roach. He couldn't think being so near her. He cupped the side of her face and brought her in for a kiss. She kissed him back innocently at first but then opened her mouth slightly. Roach felt his pulse quicken if such a thing was possible and opened his mouth to let her in. she wrapped her arms around his shoulders and touched her tongue to what was left of his. It was kissed lie that and broke apart only for a moment.

"(Alice?)" said Roach his breath heavy with want for her. Alice looked up at him with her wide brown eyes. That was…perfect. It was a little strange at first but it seemed to set her on fire. She thought back to that day when they had explored each other. She wanted to do that again. That and what came next.

"Yes Roach?" said Alice her voice thick with want. It was now or never. He had to tell her how he felt about her. At this moment he hated not having a tongue like never before. He couldn't tell her the most important thing that could ever be shared with another human being.

"(I love you.)" said Roach. Alice looked at him and opened her mouth to say something but he cut her off with a kiss. There was so much he wanted to tell her. So very much. He knew he had to tell her now or never. Everything he had wanted to tell her for years was going to come out now.

"Roach, I-" started Alice. Roach kissed her again. She needed to tell him she loved him too. She had to tell him what she had always wanted him to know. Aside from the whole kissing Fool thing, he didn't need to know that. She knew that she absolutely loved him when he got shot. The pain she felt going through her when he was shot. The thought of losing him, the only person who made life worth living.

"(I'll always love you. I want to spend the rest of my life with you. Back in that house you were my reason for living. I've taken a bullet for you and I'll gladly do it again because I love you. I want to make a life with you, a family. You are the most important person I've ever known and the only person I've ever loved. I. Love. You.)" said Roach taking both of her hands in his. He kissed her deeply and she returned it with gusto. Her hands worked their way under his shirt and she pulled it above his head. He reached forwards and undid her dress.

"Roach." Said Alice as his hands worked their way around her breasts. He looked up at her and then kissed her neck.

"(Oh Alice.)" said Whispered Roach into her ear before taking her earlobe gently between his teeth. She felt her entire body shudder and then melt right there. His hands had worked their way under her bra and she paused long enough to reach back and unhook it. She was now partially under Roach with her dress unbuttoned and around her waist.

"Roach." gasped Alice as he began to play with her breast focusing on her nipple. She had never felt anything like this before. She reached down and undid his pants. Roach stopped long enough to push them and his boxers halfway down his legs. Alice could feel it pressed against her. she reached down a shaking hand to touch it. It felt…odd. Hard but soft at the same time. She ran her thumb over the head of it and spread whatever that wet stuff was. It seemed to be similar to the wet stuff she made so she assumed she must have been doing something right. Roach pressed himself down onto her and now they were laying parallel to each other.

"(Alice.)" said Roach before he kissed her. He kissed her mouth and then down her neck to each of her breasts before pushing her dress off of her. He had lost his pants at some point and now they were completely naked. They looked and looked at each other. Alice raised a shaking hand and traced some of his scars. These were for her.

"I love you Roach. I'll always love you." Said Alice as she shifted her legs to either side of him. Roach kissed her deeply. It was at the very outside of her. she could hear Mommy's voice in her head telling how that bad girls burned in hell. She silence it and reached a shaking hand down to Roach's…well Roach. She guided him to her opening. This was going to hurt a little, Debbie had said it would. She braced herself as Roach began to enter her. He did it slowly savoring the feel of her. This was warm, wet, and utterly perfect. She arched her back as he pushed the last of himself into her. They stared at each other. This was it. No going back now.

"(This is yours. This will always be yours.)" said Roach as he looked into her eyes. They were filled with love and trust. He began to make short, slow movements so that they both could get used to it. Alice gasped. It hurt but in a good sort of way. She was amazed that something that big could fit inside of her. she was amazed that this was actually happening. She was amazed at herself for doing this. This was amazing. It was like a thousand kisses. Roach started to go fast. This was the most perfect thing he had ever done. He laid completely parallel to her and she wrapped her legs around him. Thirty seconds later it was over. It had been the most amazing thirty seconds of their lives.


End file.
